Sunday - Sep 20, 2020

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Ten Turkeys

In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, let’s survey the league for last week’s biggest “turkeys.”


Chad Johnson – His drooping eyes caught up with his butterfingers when he couldn’t stay awake during a practice session, earning him a suspension for the matchup against the Steelers. Does the 85 on his back stand for his IQ?

2.  LenDale White – Playing for a dominant 10-1 team like the Titans didn’t stop him from lamenting about his one carry in Week 12.  He went so far as to say that he “wasn’t even paying attention,” as he watched the action from the sidelines.  The “Whale” might want to think about shutting his blowhole.

3.  Matt Prater – What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? Matt. What do you call a guy with legs so weak that he missed five of his past 10 field goal attempts?  Matt Prater.

4.  Chiefs D/ST – If a team from

New York lights you up for 54 points, it could be at the hands of the first place Giants or even the Jets. But the Bills?! To the one percent of Sportsline owners who had a death wish and started the Chiefs D/ST this week, I say the only bigger turkey is YOU.

5.  Guys who play through pain (and then end up killing our fantasy teams) like Brian Westbrook, Jason Witten, etc. Your ability to play through agony is noble, but please take a cue from Reggie Bush and Tony Romo and don’t come back until you can perform.

6.  Tom Coughlin – I’m not 100 percent positive, but I detect shenanigans from the Giants coach, who reported Brandon Jacobs “probable” on the injury report and then declared him inactive in the last second – leaving guys like me, who don’t have another running back to play, out in the cold.

7.  Roy E. Williams – Williams hasn’t topped 50 yards since October 5, when he still played for

Detroit. When Williams said he couldn’t get any worse, he was Lion. Get it?

8.  Any Eagle quarterback – Pick your poison: McNabb or Kolb? They both stink, but for now it looks like McNabb has life as the starter in Philly for one more week. Next season, however, a new era in

Philadelphia is likely to begin, and a new scapegoat will be created.

9. Any Seahawk (and I mean ANYONE!)  – Even the 0-10 Lions have Calvin Johnson and Kevin Smith. I can’t think of a single Seahawk I would feel comfortable plugging into my fantasy lineup. Not one.

10.  L.T. Owners – A ho-hum game against the Colts at home shouldn’t come as a surprise any more.  If you held on to L.T. all season without actively shopping him, shame on you.  The Tomlinson who scored 31 touchdowns and rushed for over 1,800 yards is gone, my friends.


If you were lucky enough to avoid these turkeys on your fantasy team (or unload them early), then you definitely have another thing to be thankful for! Enjoy your turkey, your football and your leftovers.

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