I have given a name to my pain, and that name is Peyton. If you are like me, after some of the perceived top named RBs in the league were drafted and your 1st round pick loomed around the corner, you against better judgment and fantasy football philosophy decided to go with a QB, but not just any QB, the QB, the man among children, none other then Peyton Manning. Surely you can survive a 1st round QB pick when you can count on him for 2-3 TDs and 250 yards a game, right? I mean that is easy, guaranteed points, nothing to scoff at. When my starting RBs ended up being Curtis Martin and Brian Westbrook, I was a bit concerned, but hey, never fear, Peyton Manning will surely save the day. He is after all a descendant of Hercules himself… I liked him so much, to add insult to injury, in another league, I decided to trade away Collins for him after Week 3 and thought I hit Pay-Dirt come 4 TDs later in Week 4. The Man of Steel surely had busted out of his slump. Victory was mine!
But I have gotten ahead of myself, backing up… OK, Week 1 crashes through the gates and we all are given free passes to Fantasy Bizzaro World, admission required, like it or not. Only problem is that in FBW Peyton Manning and his Colts like to run the ball, they suddenly remember they have RB. They also like to play a weird, sadistic game where they try to score the least amount of points possible, but still win AND they are amazingly GOOD at it. 10-3, 13-6… last year that would have been the 1st and 2nd quarters of any given Indy Sunday, this year it is Week 2 and 3! Peyton, who once used to sneeze and put up 6 points, now can’t seem to even get the sniffles. Besides Week 4, where he must have been allergic to the Downy, he’s lucky to get 1 score through the air.
This would be a lot more acceptable had the Colts team went through some major changes during the off season, but as I look at the starters I am seeing familiar names. I looked at the head coach, and everything seems in order. Swapped out O-Line? No, looking OK there too. You think I joke about Bizzaro World, but really it is the only plausible explanation. Either that or Del Rio, has been spiking Peyton’s Wheaties with Kryptonite. Though try as he may, Lex… er Jack can’t stop the Colts from winning. With or without 4 TDs a game, Peyton leads them to victory. And therein, at least fantasy-wise, lies the problem. If something isn’t broke, nobody is going to try and fix it.
It is very likely that the season will continue much like it has, with Manning having an occasional blockbuster game and then returning to mediocrity the next three. But let me make the prediction right now, this is the year the ’72 Dolphins stop celebrating. If a team that has the potential to get 4 passing TDs a game is winning on the ground AND they are only giving up an average of 5.8 points a game through five games, they WILL go undefeated. In the mean-time fantasy owners are probably 2-3 at best and will finish the season with a losing record, but that my friends is the difference between real football and fantasy football. In the real world the coach don’t care what the players stats are, he cares about seeing a ‘W’ at the end of every game. If that is happening, painful as it might be, Peyton won’t be changing a thing. Now excuse me, as it is time for my meds.
P.S. – Guess who got the Brutus Award this week and win a date with Todd Hamilton!