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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin: Let The Season Begin

The Virginator has just completed the draft. And thus begins the next chapter of the Virgin Chronicles. I will talk about my team. I will scream about my team. Most of all I will drag the reader along on a journey that will also have some instructional portions. These are mandatory consequences if you just suffered amnesia for the 10th time. Poof! My memory is gone and the season begins anew. The NFL season begins with The Saints of New Orleans heading to the not yet frozen confines of Lambeau field to take on the Champion Packers of Green Bay. So get your lineups in early this week, virgins. It is go time. Speaking of go time, I get to reveal about a new twist to the week that was. You are reading it directly from the Commisioner.

Da Commish

So our 10-year-old league was about to go toes up. No one would come forward to be the commissioner. Was it the fee? Was it the time? Was it the time paying the fee?   Nobody knows, but on Saturday, Sept. 3, I ponied up the dough and resuscitated the league that was languishing on a gurney. I notified the teams. I was lucky enough to get some help and fill all the remaining spots from those who could not make it. I converted the league into a strong quarterback league. If I was commissioner that is what would happen. And it did. The draft went off with only a few minor hitches but that is what the undo last pick is for… right? So I picked fifth out of 12.

No. 5 out of 12

I had the fifth pick in the draft. Being in the same league for 10 years now really puts everything into perspective. For the most part it’s the same group and everyone comes together the Monday before the Thursday game to select a team. This is all very random but very exciting at the same time. The obvious No. 1 pick in this year’s draft is Arian Foster, unless you have a strong quarterback league. If that is the case you pick Aaron Rodgers. I ran some numbers and the Top 12 quarterbacks in the league will have more points than the projected No. at both wide receiver and running back. Yikes! What unearthly formula did I set forth into the fantasy football world? It was a noble experiment and we made it through the picks. I had to “suffer” with Michael Vick. Despite letting the league know about the strong quarterback numbers, everyone picked mostly running back and wide receiver in the first round. What do they know that I don’t? I put in the model and came up with the theory that every first pick has to be a quarterback pick in a strong quarterback league. It has to! But it wasn’t. Humans are very cool like that. Give them the straight route and somehow there is a little bit of a curve in it.

Big Ticket Items?

Our draft is a snake draft. This means that even though you pick 1-12 … it only comes back 12-1. So do you get what I am saying? I had the fifth pick of the draft this year! That means, like I said before, I go fifth and then watch 14 picks go by and then get the 20th pick followed by the 29th only to watch another 14 go by. The picks go by and in the end they get steady. These picks are not as lumpy as a No. 1 or No. 12 pick. That person in the snake draft is feast and famine. Now that you and I have a team, what to next? Get it in the site tools is what you have to do next.

Look At All These Fancy Shoes

The team is picked and every year it looks fine. So now please register on the website and enter your team in to the Edit My Players section of this site. It’s over on the right under Fantasy Tools -> Starting lineup -> Lineup Coach. Enter your players and now go to see who you should start at the Fantasy Sharks Lineup Coach. This is Fantasy 101. Take this information and apply it to this week and you are ahead of everyone else (unless of course they are a member).   Just take the recommended starters and you’ll be on your way. Next week we get advanced. But until then we have a season to speak of.

Waiting For The New Season To Begin – 2011

It is that time of year again and I know I mention it every year. A Canadian High in New England presages the winter yet to come. You think it never will happen but it has happened every year since I have been keeping track. That would be at least 1982, my friends. You see, the days get short and the sky becomes this color of blue unlike all summer. You have to be an inhabitant of New England to appreciate this nonsense but it happens nonetheless.  

We have yet to have this Canadian High probably because we have been on the border of Northern air and Southern warmth all summer. This waxing and waning created the situation that landed a hurricane into New England with the most ferocity since Hurricane Gloria in 1985. I remember Hurricane Gloria, and although the winds were not as hard this time they were steady and blew for hours. More than 700,000 people lost power. Some people were out as long as a week.

Soon we will be talking about blowing leaves, cool breezes and even frost. But first comes the fall with its apple orchards, pumpkin pies, turkey dinners and family gatherings.

I still wonder why everyone in the league did not pick a quarterback first? Oh well. May this be your most successful fantasy football year.  

Let the games begin – Season 2011-12.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

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