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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Preseason I

The weekly segment labeled The Diary of the Fantasy Virgin is back again.  Now, see, unlike most of the rest of the planet, in the world of Fantasy Football, you can become a Virgin again.  Or at least I should say that I can become a Fantasy Football Virgin once again.  From the beginning of the season to the end, I will bring to you all of the travails and tribulations associated with the ownership of a Fantasy Football team.  In the beginning you will learn how to draft.  During the season you will get strategy that works and strategy that doesn’t work.  I end up being your blind guide in to all that is Fantasy Football from a Virgin perspective.  All that I do is follow a noble experiment.  Let’s draft and follow the suggestions on and just see how it works out.  I have done this now for four years and every year is different but it follows the same pattern with some fun sidebars of Fantasy Football Mania.  Since it is a diary, I get to digress from the mundane world that is all Football all the time and look in to other areas for inspiration.  But like every schoolchild will tell you, in order to reacquaint yourself with your peers at the beginning of the year, you have to mention what you did during the summer break.  Summer Excitations lead to good golf vibrations.


What I Did Over The Summer – Recollections

Every year, we would start off the school year with a brief presentation on what we did over the summer.  There were the kids who went to Disney, the kids that went to California, and those who went to the beach.  I went to the same place every summer and as a pointed matter of fact only went to about two or three places in my youth.  One such place was Cape Cod.  To be specific, it was North Truro Cape Cod.  My father earned his nut working at Pratt & Whitney and every year they would shutdown the East Hartford Facility for the first two weeks of August.  During this respite from the automatons and bastions of industry, the hourly wage workers would partake in the frivolity of all that is non-industrial.  It is important to note that this two week siesta is a thing of the past in the modern corporation.   From what I can tell, it must be due to the fact that it could be a time to “enhance shareholder value”. Ah, but I digress. 

We would have two weeks of fun in Cape Cod.  This only lasted 8 years mind you but it was my childhood so it becomes drippy in sanguine mirth.  You think its hot now? You should have seen how it was in the 70’s.  Exactly, to the week that this article is written, my parents would pack me in the middle of the front of a Ford F150 1.5 ton cab with a camper in the back.  We would depart the night before the first day of our trip.  Why?  Because, my friends, it was sooooo hot (actually hotter than these stupid Global Warming days) and automobile technology was so far behind, that my parents had to actually get to the campground before the sun came up because of how many vehicles were broken down on the highway due to the blistering heat.  Using science and modern day principles of time management, my parents must have left around 3 am to make the then 3 hour drive to Cape Cod with arrival around sunrise.  After two weeks of digging for clams, having clam fritters and pizza and miniature golf and high and low tides and penny candy and Provincetown with the animated traffic cop and the pier where we fed old and going blind Pelicans with fish caught there with 30 relatives (cousins and uncles and aunts the like) it was time to come back.  Those are excellent recollections of an era gone by.

I guess that means I have to divulge what I did this summer.

What I Did The Summer of 2006

Where did the summer go?  I tell you where it went.  It went the way of a doped up Tour De France con non Lance.  Hey, someone must have slipped that guy a mickey! Early summer saw the Hartford Whalers … eh I apologize … the Carolina Hurricanes win the Stanley Cup.  As a season ticket holder to the Hartford Whalers in the 90’s, I really appreciated what the team did.  And because I am a Hartford Whalers fan, I can never really like the Rangers, Bruins, Islanders, or Sabres… hear that Mr. Bettman? 

I had a little bit of “me time” and worked on my back and my golf game, not necessarily in that order mind you.  I still managed to shoot a 36 in one of my golf leagues which is not that bad for 9 holes.  I guess I was just lucky.

Speaking of luck, it is draft time.   Are you ready?

Preparing For The Draft

The draft is coming Virgins, its time to get out those stat sheets and read over number upon number or just link into the fantasysharks recommended draft list or print out the custom cheat sheet. The first thing you should realize is that this draft stuff will not only make you but could also break you.  But it makes and breaks everyone so it is not a big deal.  Sure winners turn into busts and previous busts have a great season of vindication.  And sometimes, if you draft too early, you draft guys that split town due to injury or just need to leave due to personal “issues”.  First, find out if you have a strong QB league or a weak QB league.  A strong QB league is one where when the QB gets a TD, you get 6 points.  If you are in a weak QB league, the QB gets 3 points for a TD.  Most leagues give 3 points to the QB and I personally think it’s a rip-off however that is another article.  In a weak QB league, draft RB, RB, WR, WR, QB, K, DT, TE, RB, QB, K, DT repeating the RB through DT sequence until you are done.  In a strong QB league, take RB, QB(preferably Peyton Manning!), WR, RB, WR, K, DT, TE, QB, RB, WR, TE, DT repeating the QB through DT sequence until you are done.  Follow the custom cheat sheet and fill in the blanks.  And if you are really new to this fantasy football gig, don’t worry.  Read up on this site from all of my peers and check out the message boards.  Knowledge is power and this site cranks it up enough wattage to light Vegas! 

Don’t Forget to Incorporate The Bye Week

My last bit of recommendation is to not forget to take into consideration those bye weeks.  You do not get any points when your player is taking a much needed time off.  So when drafting, make sure you still have a team most weeks.  Losing a whole week or two because your horses are resting in the barn may come back to haunt you at the end of the season.  Well, I will let you know how my draft worked out by September.  For some reason it is late this year. This is a good thing because our league is run by the guy who had someone leave for personal reasons a few years back … after the draft!  So it all makes sense!  It is good to be back.

Master D.

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