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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin : Preseason Part I

Welcome one and welcome all to the greatest fantasy football experiment ever. For the 12th time the Virginator is back to unlearn everything. In this annual and entirely noble experiment, a fantasy football team is drafted, managed and maintained in a weekly article. Utilization of is a must and in the end we either win or lose. At least we did it together.

Before this journey begins, my friends, it is my tradition here at Fantasy Sharks, and in my “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” article, to bring to you what my summer was all about.

What I Did The Summer of 2013

The first half of the year was spent recovering from running The Goofy Challenge. My wife and I ran this in January, 2013. Oh, you say. What is the Goofy Challenge? Just go and look up my name and you will see that my wife and I ran the half-marathon on Saturday followed by a full marathon on Sunday during Disney’s Marathon Weekend in Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. Now that is goofy.

And I still wrote my weekly article.

Shortly after the Goofy challenge came winter and we had a couple of incredible snowstorms. On Friday, February 8th a snowstorm dumped 35.5 inches of the white stuff on us. It snowed for no less than 26 hours straight and our road did not get plowed until Sunday. That Saturday evening was one of the loneliest moments in my life. There was no navigable way out and no way in. Only by snowmobile. The eerie sound of just winter and no vehicle traffic on our road manifested itself in a delusional devolutionary zombie environment. It harkened back to days without technology or a future where the world has taken a perilous turn.

Now onto the summer. Sure there was another trip to Disney. It was our 12th anniversary and we spent it having a lovely meal at Victoria & Albert’s located in the Grand Floridian Hotel. That was a special evening, and although the seven course meal was great, the company of my wife was much better. 
Editor’s note: Someone’s wife must read his columns. 

So I have been writing a weekly article for this website since opening week 2002. And every year I ponder what type of year it will be. It should go something like this. There will be terrific highs and magnificent lows. So welcome to fantasy football. You will need an “ish” of luck to quote the vernacular of the day.

Speaking of luck, it is draft time. Are you ready?

Preparing For The Draft

The draft is coming, virgins, and it’s time to get out those stat sheets and read over number upon number or just link into the Fantasy Sharks recommended draft list or print out the
custom cheat sheet
. The first thing you should realize is that this draft stuff will not only make you, but could also break you. But it makes and breaks everyone so it is not a big deal. Sure winners turn into busts and previous busts have a great season of vindication. And sometimes, if you draft too early, you draft guys that split town due to injury or just need to leave due to personal “issues.”

I am going to draft this year like I always did in the past. Just change it up based upon a strong quarterback league or a weak quarterback league. A strong quarterback league is one where when the quarterback gets a touchdown, you get six points. If you are in a weak quarterback league, the quarterback gets three points for a touchdown.

Most leagues give three points to the quarterback, and I personally think it’s a ripoff. In a weak quarterback league, draft athletic ability but put off the high-rated quarterbacks until later. In a strong quarterback league, just look it over and if you are drafting 10th and a quarterback is still available, go for it.

Two years ago I took over the commissioner duties of my league and I instituted a strong quarterback league. And everyone did not take a quarterback in the first round. I was dumbfounded. The 10th-rated quarterback will still score more than a go-to wide receiver in a strong quarterback league. And last year was no different. After loading the scoring model into the Fantasy Sharks scoring system, 11 quarterbacks came ahead of the first position player, wide receiver Calvin Johnson followed closely by running back Adrian Peterson.

This year, I am also going to still take the dude who (barring injury) will get the most projected points every round and avoid running backs in the early rounds. Since the league is getting away from the running game, running backs become a risk that is very high. They can win you big but also lose you big with untimely injuries.

The modern NFL distribution offense favors wide receivers. The incorporation of the West Coast Offense favors the wide receivers. The “no touch” rules favor the wide receivers. Therefore, wide receivers carry the day after quarterbacks in a strong quarterback league. Only take wide receivers first if your league is not a strong quarterback league.

Knowledge is power, and this site cranks it up with enough wattage to light a moonless winter evening. I will, of course, be writing about that soon enough so I will not get ahead of myself just yet.

I will let you know how my draft worked out by the first week of September. With the NFL starting on Thursday, September 5th, our draft settles everything on September 2nd. As always, it is good to be back. Welcome to fantasy football 2013 and the greatest fantasy football site on the World Wide Web.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at
and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

About Fantasy Sharks began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.