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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin : Preseason Part II

Putting all Hurricane Irene thoughts aside for the moment, I would like to say yes indeed it is a new year here at Fantasy Sharks and my second article is always about back-to-work shopping for my lovely wife Jill followed by the way I use the Fantasy Sharks website to my advantage. I have decided to get a gift to ease her into the fall. The cold is coming so it’s naturally time for a lovely

Hooded Sweatshirt to shake off the chill in the air. This goes with the

Fantasy Sharks Women’s Cap Sleeve T-Shirt   from two years ago and it is apropos if adorned on those cold New England nights. But last year’s

ornament will have to be worked in with some imagination. Don’t you agree? Now just combine these items with the Fantasy Sharks

thong from oh those many years ago and you’ve got yourself an outfit. The thong is made in the United States, so buy three! As usual, I have on my list of things to do here the Cromwell Demolition draft. That is still up in the air and may be my next article. So be like the advanced Fantasy Footballers in your league and be prepared. I will help you utilize this website to make your first game a walk in the park. But, as usual, I have some random musings from the summer that was, virgin style.

The Summer Of The Debt Ceiling

This summer was a lesson in the debt ceiling and how our representatives in two of the branches in government can talk a lot and wait and wait until the bitter end. So they did wait until the bitter end. And it was all of us that got bitten in the end. When you are witness to a high stakes delay game from both major political parties which adds chaos to a levered investment environment, you get the tinder for a raging fire.

The fire is raging, and the usually boring light trading Summer Stock Market vectors down in a sea change. The economy is rapidly brought into focus front and center and everyone has an opinion. We fortunately live in an era where all opinions are granted a seat at the table. I have heard so far in the last month that …


Everything is going to crash


This is the beginning of a new depression


Everything is going to be fine

There is a unique perspective that portends all Capitalist societies can talk their way into a recession. The perception is sometimes greater than the reality. This self talk does not usually work but it takes awhile to make everyone realize the direction. This confusion leads to time where up is down, left is right, and all balance is forgotten. Even talking about it in this format creates striking opinions with clairvoyant flair.

The great part is that in the end only the market is right. I would like to think that the market will be just fine. I know that is the irrational optimist inside just blabbing away, but I also know that wealthiest man in the world is not an economist. So why would that be?

The Summer Of The Debt Ceiling. So far removed is the oil spill of the Gulf. That was last summer. So will we still be talking economy and government next year? Probably not, if the past is anything like the future where most items are one act summer flings. Speaking about acts, now it is time to get your act together. I know this may be repetitive to some fans, but it bears repeating. A reminder on how to get your act together and form your fantasy football team.

In The Beginning …

Begin by sending a simple note to the person running your league. Say something like this … ”The Fantasy Sharks Virgin has asked me to ask you what the scoring system is in our league. Please point me to the place where the scoring system is or you will be considered a low-rent fantasy football commissioner. Thanks.” After you register for this site (if you haven’t already), take that information and follow these steps.

Go to My Fantasy Football Home


Edit My Scoring System. Next, enter in all the information associated with the scoring system in your league. Now click on Player Projections, click on quarterback under 2011 Projections, and voila. Based upon last year’s stats and your league’s scoring system, the ranking of quarterbacks come up on your screen. Now continue through all the positions and take that information to your melon. That is last year’s results, but just like the stock market, past results do not a future make. So print out these in one place in this link

2011 All Projections. Now, and this is the brilliant part about, see what the heck the people who have been doing this for awhile do when they have to pick. That means going to the

Player Analysis page. These three references will bring you harmony toward your selection.    

The information is convenient, quick, and it is all part of the power of All at your fingertips. Now comes the execution part.

The Execution

Be weary, fellow virgins, veterans, and others who don’t want to fit in to either category. The draft is truly a mistress of folly. Filled with good intentions, the results can leave you laughing in the streets or groaning in the aisles. Scour the team’s websites of the Top 30 players in each position for a total of 90 players. Also, make sure they are not injured. Pick the best tight end and defense/special teams after you have three or four wide receivers, two or three running backs, and one or two quarterbacks. Next, map out a strategy of picks based upon points/player analysis/printable custom cheat sheet or some combination thereof. Take a deep break and … GO!

The Aftermath

The aftermath is your team. Enter this team in to the following place on this website. Go to My Fantasy Football Home



Edit My Players and enter your players in. For those returning to this area from last year, you can get a proper look at your team from last year and say goodbye. Now you can take advantage of my next article. My next article will go in to the steps needed to select the team you will play that week. Go off and be merry, because projection tools are evil and reality is a long walk off a short board. Your team will change so much due to injury, craziness, trades and dumb luck that your next moment in time may not resemble this moment in time. But you have a friend to shepherd you through the valley of “players.” All of us are alone. We might as well try and get through it together.    

Dear Diary

OK. The definition of irony is when you get to a place where you cannot write an article because a hurricane named Irene has created a situation where there is no power. And if you have no power, you have no ice cream. And life is always better with ice cream, right? So what is the secret that has allowed me to pen this article? It takes luck and fortitude and preparation. I may have to do the same next week. Yikes!

How do you have a draft when there is no power and hence no internet? This is going to be an unusual week to say the least, and rightly so. In the meantime, please keep all of those without power along the Eastern Seaboard in your thoughts. You can sometimes get caught out in a world that is familiar but not quite right. Yes, it has power, but getting back home is very difficult and no matter what you do, there is a feeling of dread about the lack of power to come and the joy you leave behind.

Even if you get the hurricane rate it doesn’t make it right. Right? So here is to the upcoming draft. I wonder what my team will look like?    

That is next week’s article.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles or advice to help out your fantasy football team.

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