Sunday - Feb 17, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin: Preseason Part II

It’s shopping time here at Fantasy Sharks. My second article allows me get the cobwebs out of me wee melon and do some shopping for my wife. This year it is a blue
Jr. Spaghetti Tank
. You get this for your better half and now you will have something that says “I am just being super casual around the home” shark style. My main draft is coming a week from now and the time has come to prepare. The draft is scheduled for September 2nd, at 7:00 PM. To get ready for the draft is to understand the landscape of the NFL and go for maximum points. The problem is that everyone is doing the same thing so for the most part it tends to even out the results. So you think you are making progress but so is the other team. Before I get into the draft I have my Summertime headline.


The Summer Of ???

This is the first time I can say in a long time that this is the Summer of no big highlights. This makes me scared because it implies that something is around the corner. In no particular order, we had a Summer of the following parochial stories in and around New England.

  • TE Aaron Hernandez was arrested
  • Miss Connecticut, Erin Brady, wins the Miss America Pageant

  • The Boston Red Sox
  • Westport Ct. Little League team lost in the US Championship game
  • July was the hottest July ever in New England

The problem with this Summer was the obvious. There seemed to be no galvanizing event that made America stop, and that is unusual. By now there would be a hurricane or two but we haven’t had any of those yet either, knock on wood. So it was a Summer that just came and went with very few distractions.

The time for distractions has come and gone for now fellow Virgins is the time to get your act together. I realize this section may be repetitive to some fans, but it bears repeating. This section acts as a friendly reminder on how to get your act together and form your Fantasy Football team.

In The Beginning …

Begin by sending a simple note to the person running your league. Say something like this…”The Fantasy Sharks Virgin has asked me to ask you what the scoring system is in our league. Please point me to the place where the scoring system is or you will be considered a low-rent Fantasy Football Commissioner. Thanks.” After you register for this site (if you haven’t already), take that information and follow these steps.

Go to My Fantasy Football Home — 

Edit My Scoring System. Next enter in all the information associated with the scoring system in your league. Now click on Player Projections, click on Quarterback under 2013 Season Projections and voila, based upon last year’s stats and your league’s scoring system, the ranking of all Quarterbacks appear on your screen. Now if you would like, continue through all the positions and take that information into your melon. Buyer beware though because this is last year’s results and just like the stock market, past results do not a future make. Next, print out the
Printable Custom Cheat Sheet
. Now, and this is the brilliant part about, see what the heck the people who have been doing this for awhile do when they have to pick. That means going to the
2013 All Positions Predictions
page. These three references will prepare you for your selections on draft day.

The information is convenient, quick, and current. It is information that you should keep all to yourself and when you combine the All Positions Predictions page with your custom
Scoring System
, you are ahead of most. It is akin to running through the Fantasy Streets of Pamplona with nary a scratch. Jump out of the way!

It beats talking to that nerdy guy who drove a Scirocco and stares at you with that one googly eye. You know. He is the same dude that wins several leagues every year and brags about it openly. Yikes! You just didn’t have to work so hard for this information. All you had to do is register on this site. Remember my friends, this is only setting yourself up for the very best you can do with the information you have. Now comes the execution part.

The Execution

Be weary, fellow virgins, veterans, and others who don’t want to fit in to either category.
The draft is a mistress of folly. Filled with good intentions, the results can leave you laughing in the streets or groaning in the alleys. Scour the team’s websites of the top 30 players in each RB/WR/QB position. That means 90 players and make sure they are not injured. I suggest you pick the best TE and defensive team after you have two or three Wide Receivers and a couple of top running backs. Next map out a strategy of picks based upon points/player analysis/printable custom cheat sheet or some combination thereof. Take a deep breath and … GO!

The Aftermath

The aftermath is your team. Enter this team in to the following place on this website. Go to My Fantasy Football Home – 

Edit My Players
and enter your players in. For those returning to this area from last year, you can get a proper look at your team from last year and say goodbye. Now you can take advantage of my next article. My next article will go in to the steps needed to select the team you will play that week. Go off and be merry, because projection tools are evil and reality is a long walk off a short board. Your team will change so much due to injury, craziness, trades, and dumb luck that your next week may not resemble this moment in time. But you have a friend to shepherd you through the valley of “playas.” All of us are alone. We might as well reach out and get through it together. My diary article talks about the happiest place on earth.

[Editor’s note: For those of you that play in a league hosted at, all it takes is a few clicks of a mouse to set up your league scoring and import your roster. Let me tell you, it is way too easy to set up.]

Dear Diary

For some reason, I have to repeat the exploits of my good luck. This year, my wife and I attempted the Goofy Challenge. This is simply a Half Marathon on Saturday and a Full Marathon on Sunday in January in Orlando. You run through all the Theme Parks and it is an uplifting event because there are several distractions along the way to guide you toward your destination.

Now I cannot recall ever having to do such distances on back to back days in my youth. While training we were able to take on 13.1 miles and 20 miles on consecutive days. That was enough for us.

Adding to this Goofy Challenge was the temperature in Florida which was in the 80s along with 100% humidity. For us Northerners that makes for a really intense event. I think I avoided injury because I lost 20 lbs before the training. Yet still it was a difficult feat of endurance.

Along for the ride was my beautiful bride, Jill. How many people can say they have a marriage that involves Goofy Challenges? Very few and we trudged through the training season during the second half of 2012 to get us to the right place at the right time.

I know it is too common a saying, but always feel lucky if you have your health. It is something that I understand more and more the older I get. So here is to health and Goofy Challenges. And here is to the upcoming draft. I wonder what my team will look like?

That is next week’s article.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at
and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles and any advice to help out our fantasy football family.

About Fantasy Sharks began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.