Friday - Oct 23, 2020

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 10

Week 10 came. Week 10 went. I find my team only getting in to the end zone on defense and at quarterback. Yay! That is two more touchdowns than last week. But my team is surrounded with gentlemen who seem to pine for the end zone but cannot get there. Oh. where have you gone,
Julio Jones

?! But I have to start off on a sullen note. The end of my participation in the survivor pool.

Survive This!

I am usually penning this paragraph early on in the year, but this year, no. The last two years I have gone out in the first two weeks in the survivor pool. This year I was part of a cadre of 19 people in the Fantasy Sharks Survivor pool. This is pretty good out of 400 that started. And then the Jacksonville Jaguars decided to win their second game in 21 tries. Why this week? So, I am out of survivor and I was true to my mantra. Only pick the teams that usually lose. But this is the NFL and on any given Sunday a victory can occur. Just ask the Indianapolis Colts. Survivor pools could be falling all around us after this week. There is always next year. As far as my team goes, it is yet another loss.

What Are All These Blue Squares?

No less than three blue squares have appeared next to my starters. For those who are unfamiliar with this phenomenon, the fantasy football interface places blue squares on those players that are cold! Ooooooh! Like I needed that to happen? I could tell by my third consecutive loss, tough guy. Not even that Hail Mary by my quarterback
Andy Dalton

could put me over the top. It must be trending wrongly and it is. Now I am 3-7 and rotating my team out looking for a roster of scorers. Some dudes who can find the end zone. But the NFL is under the same duress, my friends. Take it all with a grain of salt and try to get better. My diary entry is all about the most wonderful time of the year.

Dear Diary

So, I am feeling really bad. Not because my fantasy football team keeps losing and I am totally to blame, my friends. It is because I am not the first to mention Christmas and it is Nov. 11! I know it is proclaimed that Christmas advertisements come earlier and earlier, but dude!

There have been more holiday commercials and interactions than all of my recent memories can recall. Now I know that this is probably due to a “race to be first” mentality but that cannot be the overall reason. What is the cause?

Logic would state that it is due to the fact that this is the latest Thanksgiving, leaving us with less shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The idea being that you lose one week between Thanksgiving and Christmas means that you have to make it up somehow. But this is probably not the case at all.

Someone just wants to be the first to say “It’s Beginning To Look Like Christmas” and they cannot hold it inside. I swear I just saw Charlie Brown say “I got a rock” from “It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!” Come on!

How do we send Christmas back to Black Thursday? Send me your ideas.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at

and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

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