Tuesday - Jan 22, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 11

Preparing for a Tryptophan coma fellow footballers? It is Turkey Day and it is all about giving thanks.  Giving thanks is at the very heart of our country.  We work so hard to get through the year, only to Give Thanks for about one afternoon.  Then we go on a credit card spending spree that would make a millionaire blush.  For example, when you earn 50 K and you amass 8 K worth of Credit Card debt that is spending at roughly 15 % over your means.  Are those millionaires spending over their means?  Probably not because that is how they got to be millionaires!  Such is the nature of Capitalism and Freedom.  We are free to spend right up to that edge.  Whilst others are free to make as much as they want.  A battle of making and spending unfolds every day in America and it looks like the spending is winning.  On the freedom front, please take a moment to recognize that a lot of tables will be missing some key family members this year due to their commitments in IRAQ.  To all of those family members, which include my very own, I pray that the table will be made whole again in a future Thanksgiving celebration with everyone safe and sound.  Now to the week that was.

Why Now?

After winning two weeks in a row riding the arm of Drew Brees, my opponents have been stacking up players who are performing at all the right times.  And last week was no exception.  The flaws of my team are being exposed weekly.  To everyone who took players like Travis Henry and Plaxico Burress, I can sympathize with your situation.  That is fantasy football.  With only three weeks to go to the playoffs, it is going to take a miracle to get back. But I have some trade bait and I am scanning the free agent wires for the next Droughns.  That has led to two consecutive painful losses in weeks where I scored above the magic 110 point plateau.  Only to be smoked like a cheap cigar.  The Captain has the crew in a frenzied fever pitch.  Let us look in to the Demolition and see why.

Captain’s Log – 11-22-2004 – 11:00 PM

“Cap’n!, I sees a ship coming!”  Artemis and the crew nearly jumped out of their skin for it looked like the transport boat that would be bringing Mawu!  As hope was only a few leagues from the ship, we were still battling the elements for the week that was.  The Boatswain was tallying up the damage and sending for supplies and I was thinking about the bill coming from the Boatswain’s beady li’l eyes and pudgy li’l fingers.  “Harken me back to the past after this week is done Artemis! For this week is lost. “ The nature of the loss was all the more reason why we needed the Voodoo woman Mawu.  She regularly visits her relatives on a nearby island and we offer her safe, albeit exciting passage for a small fee.  What is her fee?  No money will do here, my fellow shipmates.  She brings her Voodoo ways aboard the Demolition and puts the stank eye on all of our future opponents.  That is the nature of the Captain’s ways near the end.  Desperate times call for disparate measures.  Get the boatswain and get a Voodoo woman aboard your vessel and the crew has a fighting chance.  And I have to admit that she sure is a pleasure to be in the company with.  Her eyes have such depth that they melt the very stoic nature of me face.  And being the only proper lady on board, her quarters are the best and furthest away from the crew.  May those two emotions battle it out in the upcoming weeks.  And may the best team win.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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FantasySharks.com began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.