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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 12

All of us are heading into dangerous times.  Week 11 was the beginning of the last weeks that several of the A – Number – 1 players will be needed to score big.  So now some winning faux franchise may become also-rans.  Is yours next?  That is why Fantasy Football is the toughest to win.  All it takes is one early Home Field Advantage around week 14 and BAM…your #1 QB/RB/WR is resting up for the playoffs.  Is resting up for the playoffs?  Those thoughts and what happens when a Voodoo woman comes aboard the Demolition highlight this weeks article.

So That Is The Clincher

Weeks 11/12/13 are the weeks in the NFL where the wheat is separated from the chaff.  Where the cream rises to the top.  Where the … oh you get the picture.  Interesting times these are.  Interesting and dangerous all at the same time.  Little y’s start appearing in the standings in the sports section. The y stands for clinched division title.  That in combination with home field advantage throughout the playoffs spells DOOM for the fantasy football owner who played that All-Star QB/RB/WR that got the team where they needed to be.  It is ironic that the very best players which got you to the record after this last week may not be in the games that will decide the Fantasy Football championship.  I don’t need to mention specific teams, but the standings presage the inevitability of it all.  So those desperate teams that have not made the playoffs in a few years will be grinding and scoring and most of all PLAYING whilst the others may be RESTING.  Resting only means one thing and that is losing.  The only solution is to hope that your backups were players on desperate teams needing desperate offense to desperately get to the playoffs.  The bold trade McNabb for Brees this time of year…will you?  If you don’t 2nd or 3rd place may be in the offering.  As for my team, it was an incredible week where we dropped a 140 point effort.  It was fantastic.  On the Demolition, what did Mawu bring this week?  She brought the big “O” …for Offense that is.

Captain’s Log – 11-29-2004 – 11:00 PM

The din of sawing and repairing cluttered the deck with the smell of money.  The Boatswain repaired whilst I made withdrawals from the safe.  The ship was faring a bit better but it could have been all avoided if we coulda just won one or two more.  “Cap’n,  what is that?” asked Artemis as Mawu made her way across the bow holding a peculiar object.  It appeared to be a bottle or decanter of some type.  The bottle was emerald green and had a big “O” encrusted in something like diamonds.  She handed me the bottle and I said…”Mawu, wha’ in sea devil ya’ got here?”.  Her response was in a voice that penetrated the deck and all the surroundings…”I bring for you the big ‘O’.  It shall inspire greatness to all that smell the aroma that wafts up from the bottle.”  I said .. “Mawu, this is almost a tight ship meaning the boys only drink after the work is done for the week.  We are almost dry.”  The wry smile on her face implied that I was not as good a liar as I thought.  “The elixir of ‘O’ will only sharpen the mind and bring an acute sense of purpose to those that protrude their proboscis toward the opening.  The rest is up to the individual.”  I translated to the crew that a proboscis was a the same as the human nose for ol’ Smelly Britches, the ships cook, seemed ready to do something really rude.  So we lined up and protruded for a waft and true to Mawu’s word, the mission for every individual became resolute.  And this was evident by the week we had.  And the Demolition showed all of her glory flying by the obstacle and making the first week with Mawu a complete success.  So this week hope won out and the crew basked while the boatswain muttered about going to a real bad ship because this one may be turning around.  So may yours.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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