Saturday - Jan 23, 2021

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 12

I have found the enemy.  The enemy be none other than myself.  I survived Turkey Day and realized that I am an obsessive combination Fantasy Football compulsive.  This week we will elaborate on this malaise and change the direction this is going in and maybe eek out a victory.  It would be a straight up victory that is destined to bring me yet another victory closer to .500.  So let us begin with banter and the mirror.

Banter and The Mirror

Chatter, banter, idle talk, all of this pervades the week before the weekend that is the Professional Football League.  Some of it is valid.  Some of it is not.  The secret is to separate the wheat from the chaff my friends.  And I did a horrible job in combination with a horrific injury resulting in my cup that runeth over with a brief malaise.  It all begins with the rumor.

The Rumor

The rumor is that Mr. Gado is not going to play this weekend at all.  Benched for a certain malady known as fumble-itis.  It is a common disease that afflicts all slippery fingered professionals time and again.  This version of the disease is so entrenched that the rumor sticks so you follow through and go with an up and comer by the name of Arrington for the Cardinals.  Ha Ha Ha HA!! You merrily whisper to yourself as you make the victory plans.  In a heady sense of merriment, you also see that Marc Bulger is out for the week and you decide that his backup Jamie Martin will be the panacea.  The cure of all that ails you.  The elixir of victory that will bring harmony to the quest for .500.  And then it happens.  Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


Jamie Martin throws for 14 yards and suffers a concussion.  Sam Gado runs all over the place and yet you still have a chance  to win on Monday Night.  Everyone all of us together now.  Duh Duh Duh Duhhhhhhh Da Da Da Da Da Daaaaaaahhhhhh.  Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duhhhhhhh.  All Mr. James has to do on Monday is make his average of 20 points and victory will be mine.  It will be mine … Not!


You awaken from the slumber that is the Monday Night.  Mr. James is adequate because you watched the first half.  However, you are disconcerted because Pittsburgh has decided to take away the run.  A great example of this is the single man coverage and 8 men in the box on the first play from scrimmage from the Colts.  One play action pass and one throw to Mr. Harrison later and its 7-0.  It will all work out as you place your head on the pillow that is familiar.  Hope is the four letter swear word of Fantasy Footballers everywhere.  And your concern is verified in the morning.

There’s Got To Be A Morning After!

You stumble over to the PC and find that Mr. James was fine but did not get into the Hiz-Ouse!  What does this mean?  It means that all is lost.  The issues you dealt with so easily before are nothing but a house of cards.  And then you put a declaration forth.  I shall diversify and stick-ify.  That means no combination quarterback receiver and stick with the Gado that got you here!  Peace!


 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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