Monday - Jul 22, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin: Week 13

Right now I am facing another grim fact. For the second year in a row I am out of the playoffs. I hung in there until last week when I declared that I had to win out and get lucky. I did totally the opposite because I have now lost two games in a row. Oh, the humanity. Oh, the New England Patriots defense. Oh, the year of the tablet. People are getting those just to carry around like a toy dog. Let’s start off with oddsmaking.   


How Odd Is That? The Pats by 21!

You may see my picks on a week in and week out basis. It is something all of us on the staff enjoy. We use it for good-natured ribbing on one another. And I have had a mediocre year, but this week I went 10-5-1, which was good enough for a tie for fourth. Hey, out of a few hundred entries it is not so bad. Two surprises that I got correct were the Indianapolis Colts and the New York Giants to cover. How would the Patriots’ defense ever win by 21? The funny part was the week that was.


How To Lose By A Score of 67-66

So, I have 30 player minutes remaining and I am down by only one point. A quick analysis and this should be in the bag. Then the San Francisco 49ers go up 26-0 and Vernon Davis gets pulled. Have no fear. Just go to the Dallas Cowboys at the Arizona Cardinals. I have DeMarco Murray and Larry Fitzgerald. To get my two points, I need a 5-yard pass play to Fitzgerald or 17 yards of running from Murray. Even when the game goes into overtime it did not matter. Murray went for 33 yards rushing and Fitzgerald was double teamed. I have never laughed so hard at a fantasy football score in all my days.

So my team is now 6-6-1. I am aiming for a record above .500, which can happen with a little bit of luck. This week’s diary entry speaks to the tablet phenomena.


Dear Diary

People are now very interested in carrying small, mostly square, glass paneled screens around with them. None are made by Microsoft. None of them have an operating system that you need to care about. These devices have successfully separated the application from the operating system.

People load “apps” on these tablets. They love to load the free ones and will even load ones for pay, especially if they have been given a gift card to do so. The apps they load involve crazy games and even crazier ideas like free books. I know we paid for the tablet, but how did we get the book for free?

Oh yeah. It was due to the statute of limitations and public knowledge, or the betterment of mankind. I have no doubt. With these tablets I see the art of typing dying quicker than ever. I see the PC hanging around, but when done correctly in the near future I see the end of the laptop. Going the way of the manual typewriter and the Sony Walkman.

Gone. But not forgotten.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

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