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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 14

Well the regular season has come to an end and I somehow went 5-1 down the stretch to get 2 games above .500 at 8-6. That was not good enough for the first tier of playoffs in my league though.  I am just on the outside looking in rated # 1 in the second tier.  Oh the pit of it all.  But it’s the holiday season my friends and in the spirit of giving, this week the Virgin Chronicles will write about not only the week that was but a Moore-ish tale about what happened to the top four teams in our league.  It should be a hoot.  But here is the week that was.

The Week That Was

The Demolition rode another fantastic outing by Mr. Drew Brees to a victory.  With 5 Touchdowns, the performance netted 34 points in my league.  It would have been 49 points if a touchdown counted as 6 points, but in my league, the QB is weakened by only 3 points per TD throw.  I mean come on!  But it does even out the scoring and make RBs all the more vital.  Final score, the Demolition 139, the Blue Moose 113 in a good scoring week that was score-a-rific.  Since Fantasy Football is about statistics, it stands to reason analysis is forthcoming.

The Year That Was

 Finishing the year out 5-1 after I boldly predicted I would not win another game may seem foolhardy.  But the odds were not on my side because Portis went down and I drafted Dominick Davis in the 4th round.  Ouch!  But Devery Henderson along with Maurice Jones-Drew added enough bang to get over the top.  It does help when you score 100 points in a week.  I was 6-4 in weeks that I scored over 100 points.  I was 2-2 in weeks that I did not.  Therefore, key mid-year acquisitions did push me over the .500 Mendoza line but just barely.  Many mistakes were made but that is the nature of Fantasy football, you live and learn.  So now its off to the playoffs.  But before I go, I would like to tell a tale about the top four teams in my league.  My team is in there for just outside reference of course.

Dear Diary

This is a dedication to the owners in my fantasy football league.  We have been playing each other since 2002 and all of us know each other by the familiar names associated with our teams.  This would be our 5th season together.  This is for them.

The 11th of December, and all through the tent, the Demolition was hoping a win for 2 victories above 50%.  Also I needed some help from some others, to make the first tier of playoffs and avoid the second tier druthers. When about on the turf there arose such a noise, I rose from the futon to see where were the boyz.  The moon on the crest of the field just below, gave the indication that some victories were in the know.  It was the arms and their legs that gave away the scores in a flash.  So I opened up Explorer and went to look in a dash.  More rapid than kegs at a Frat House party they came, I could see and I shouted them all out by name.  On Tomlinson, on Gonzalez, on Romo, On The Bears D!  Those top four  these horses rode to victory.  Not even a Brees could penetrate such a clan.  They all were in the first tier of playoffs and that was their plan.  I noted the group leader within a cabal and noted that it was Tomlinson he had that made him above all. For what was one of the losses out of three?  It was when Tomlinson sat, yes folks that was week 3. Everyone must sit and replace with a dud, but the rest of the time Tomlinson was nothing but a Faulk-like stud. All of us watched as the scoring piled up.  Tomlinson had 4 weeks over 40 points and that was enough.  The group was ahead there was no turning back so I waved at them solemnly and gave them some slack. As I exclaimed as they rode into the night. “Happy Playoffs to all and to all a good night”.

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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