Thursday - Aug 22, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 15

Happy Holidays!  The Fantasy Football season is winding down.  While outside, temperatures in the ‘50s will not remind most of the holiday season, empty chairs at the tables across America will serve as a proper reminder to most.  Please put in your thoughts and prayers those who will not be with their families this Christmas and New Year’s.  I do thank them from the bottom of my heart.  So on to the week that was.  Is there parity?  I don’t think so!

Parity-Parity-Parity — Not

I may say something about this topic of parity every year.  Usually something about how many teams were at .500.  This is usually an indication of parity.  So this year has been strange.  A strange world indeed folks because only 4 teams in our league out of the original 12 were over .500.  Three teams were at .500 and the remaining 5 were actually below the Mendoza line of fantasy football.  The key was that certain offensive players dominated and the rest were inconsistent.  And inconsistency makes for a losing team in Fantasy Football.  Just look at 6 of the 7 weeks for Drew Brees starting in week 8 and compare that to the Peyton Manning over the same timeframe and you will see what inconsistency means.  So hot and cold ruled the day.  Now here are the results for my playoff game.

Can Somebody Catch A TD Pu-Lease Already Now

You have two WR and a TE.  If two of them catches a TD, it would be an average week.  If none of them catch a TD, then it’s a horrible week.  Queue up the horrible track maestro because the song that is playing this week is … “Here is a loss!”  My WRs inability to get into the Hiz-Ouse in combination with a below average performance by Brees resulted in a loss by five points.  So Six points is all I needed!  Six Points…hence the need for a TD reception by somebody…anybody!  But it did not matter.  One inconsistent week and I am out of the picture.  A consolation game which means one last attempt to end the season 2 games over .500.  One more Dear Diary is on tap. 

Dear Diary

Christmas is on a Monday this year.  Christmas Mondays are a procrastinators dream.  Everyone can actually look forward to two days of shopping before the big day.  The problem with the procrastinator is that they believe that they were the only person to come up with this bright idea.  Well, actually, NO!  The Saturday and Sunday before a Christmas Monday is the craziest Christmas shopping days you will ever see.   I believe it to be crazier than black Friday at 5 AM.  For example, let’s say you need batteries.  So go and try to find a parking spot and wait in line for 30 minutes for batteries?  That is why they invented outrageous prices at “Convenience” stores.  Thank you sir, as I conveniently take 80% markup on your batteries.  Well this beats that line at the store you mutter as you get to your car.  Getting shopping done on the Saturday and Sunday before Christmas is like two consecutive Black Fridays.  Everyone is in an impatient mood and you are in their way.  So watch out.  Come to think of it, I still have to get my sister’s present.  See you all out there!

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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