Wednesday - Jun 26, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 15

It is the holidays. Happy
Holidays to everyone who reads my article. May your New Year be bright as well.
Please keep in your thoughts the men and women of our armed services who find
themselves away from their loved ones this time of year. It is also the
playoffs, so it is go large or go home. And this week I am up against the likes
of Mr. Drew Brees and Mr. Jamaal Charles. My team – the Cromwell Demolition – won
it all last year so it is good to make it into the final four of our league
again. This year I have a plan. I have prepared for all scenarios and even on
draft day I prepared for this week.


On draft day I had the
nerve to look forward to Week 15 and put together some notes. One note I wrote
down is …”Tom Brady lights up the Buffalo Bills.” Tom has been nothing short of
phenomenal against the Bills, and the last 10 times he’s played them it was
like Week 1. In Week 1, Tom went for 378 yards, two touchdowns and 22 overall
points. It was a lock. But I had some insurance. Several weeks ago I picked up
the Houston Texans defense. They were going to be playing the St. Louis Rams. So
I set my lineup and let it go.

1 Out 2


Houston defense carried the day, garnering me
an unexpected 19 points from a defense. But Tom Brady only netted six points on
115 passing yards. Sometimes you plan and plan and plan some more and you miss
that one essential moment and it went away. That essential moment was in Round
8 of the draft. I had a choice between Fred Jackson and insurance in the person
of Jonathan Stewart. I went with

and I needed his ample production the first three weeks. So without him I would
not have made it to the final four. I find it very strange how it all works out
or doesn’t sometimes. On the board for my quarterback it was either Tom Brady
or Peyton Manning. If I had chosen Manning, the season would have tilted my way
as well. The allure of what is statistically possible in Week 15 just caused me
to lean that way – the wrong way.

Dear Diary

Christmas is a few days
away and we had our first large snowstorm in

Southern New England over the weekend. How
bad was it? So many people stayed off of the roads that they decided to shop to
their hearts content on the Monday after. Parking lots were packed. People were
everywhere buying and buying. I went out and it reminded me a bit of the go-go 1990s.

Back in the 90’s, the
credit card infrastructure was not as robust and I can remember waiting for my
credit card to ring through. The sales person would say, “It is slow today.” No
such problems nowadays. You can spend and spend and spend and the transaction
goes rather quickly.

This is also the 20th
anniversary of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. I saw it on a date with a
certain Ms. L. Glatz. She was in my psychology class. Yes I was in college at
the time. The theater was unusually packed. The theater was filled to the brim.
The movie was spectacular back then and it has held up the test of time. I look
forward to the movie every year and I will unabashedly play it the Friday after
Thanksgiving to get me in the mood.  

As the character Eddie
(played by Randy Quaid) says to Clark Griswold (played by

Chevy Chase), “Clark that is gooo ooo ooood.”

And may your

be as bright as the sight of shoppers inundating the local merchants this year.


Master D.

Tim can now be reached at
and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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