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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 16

I am playing for all the marbles this week. The Championship of my 12-team, three-division Husky Blue fantasy football league. Because it is the week before Christmas, I guess I must go in this direction. My lineup was hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that a fantasy football Championship would be there. In all respect to Dr. Clement C. Moore, of course, virgin fans, it had to be said. The results you ask? 

So it has come to pass in this: the 143rd article in the sixth year of playing fantasy football, the Fantasy Virgin wins the last nine weeks of the season and delivers the first ever fantasy football championship for the Cromwell Demolition. I finished the season at 13-3 with the next closest team at 10-6. Oh how sweet it is. I would like to dedicate this championship to Steve. I will write about this fine fellow early on next season. I know you are asking, why am I being coy? I will explain it then. Hey! You waited this long for the new season of 24! You can wait a few months for the story about Steve. Anywho! Let us get to the spirit of the season.

The Spirit of The Season

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Hallelujah! The official portion of the Fantasy Virgin Chronicles ends with this week and we head into prognostication territory. So the articles will still flow and the tone will change. In my family’s thoughts and prayers will be the American troops in danger all over the World. Away during this time of year is stressful for all. I appreciate the service of these fine men and women and thank them from the bottom of my heart. I begin this week with how it all went down.

How It All Went Down

The road to a fantasy football championship is luck in combination with skill. The skill part gets you to the playoffs. The luck part? Wins the last two weeks. Why is it not the former instead of the latter? You see, folks, the season starts with the draft, and for the most part the team I had in that draft took me through the whole year.

 So the skill was a combination of drafting healthy players and getting matchups in the last two weeks that make this year a year of destiny. The weather also played a crucial role.

The Weather Outside Is Frightful

The weekend storms in the Northeast left my opponent with a choice between Kurt Warner or Peyton Manning. By starting Warner and the weather going bad in

New England, that set my opponent back several points. And seven of the Virgin’s starters played in a Dome. The eighth played in

Oakland where it was 50 degrees and raining. I mentioned these scenarios a few weeks back and it came true to form. In a weird twist of fate, my opponent had every member of his team playing outside.

   Only one player played in warm weather. That was the Buccaneers D/ST against

San Diego. And that went south. The weather outside was frightful, but the dome was so delightful.

Brees + Colston = Brolston

I have been dreaming of the Brees-Colston combination for 15 weeks. I have planned this paragraph header as well. But WR Marques Colston went down with an injury and did not make it back until Week 8. The paragraph header would have to wait. It only took the Detroit Lions to make this happen. Harkening back upon the days of Tony Romo and Terrell Owens when they put up big numbers for me on certain occasions last year, I note that the Brolston combination went for 53 points this week. My opponent due to the bad weather could only muster 65. And I had Dallas Clark who went for 24 points this week. The firm of Brolston & Clark went for 77 points! So the last two weeks have been spooky in my favor and that is how the road is paved to fantasy football championships.


In the beginning of the year, I was reminded very rudely from my fellow competitors that Colston was down and the Colts stunk. This led to a very mediocre start of 4-3. But in Week 8, I started Steve Slaton in the place of a resting Adrian Peterson and Dallas Clark went large. Even though the Colts lost that game, that was their last loss so far this year and now

Clark is the No. 2 TE in the league. The key to this fantasy football championship came down to patiently waiting for the Colts to get better in combination with having Peterson and Michael Turner. For it was only the end of the year that mattered and when it mattered most, the players went large and they did this inside during a poor weather weekend. Maybe winning a fantasy championship is more luck than skill.

Happy Holidays to all!

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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