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The Diary Of A Fantasy Virgin – Week 2

In the wide-open ocean without land as your guide, the sea is probably less intimidating than the thoughts running through your ruddy brain.  The compass and the North Star be your guide mate and if there’s a strong wind in your sail, times be resplendent with progress.  However, this early into the trip should not bring comfort.  It harkens that the journey is all too long and the unknown all too real.  It comes down to intuition.  That and other thoughts fill a Captain’s heart this week.  So early in to a voyage, the romantic side of me sometimes comes out.  Then comes the pain.

Stop Thinking

Some people call it “A Women’s Intuition” and some others call it “Beginner’s Luck”.  However, I have noticed that in several office pools, it is not necessarily the macho, Rambo loving red meat eating manly man that is winning the pool.  The fine ladies who partake in this affair are pulling more than their weight.  When I asked my wife what this was all about, she stated quite simply …”You men think way too much.”  “Since when did thinking win a football game”?  And this means you out there.  All you did was sit down Jamal Lewis and put in Tiki Barber and now you are kickin’ yourself.  It is like pushing a string and chasing a rainbow.  It is within reach but untouchable and finding the smile on your dog.  You know that dog is happy, but where’s the smile?  The moral of the story is that voodoo reigns supreme and the number one backs on your team will do the job.  Since everyone should have that player, just get that player in the lineup and anything can happen.  Everything about this is left to chance.  You must guide by not guiding and push by not pushing.  So that is why the women are winning the office pool.  Because it seems every day a game in the NFL is played could be the game you should not lose.  Just ask your New York Giants Loving friends who went to bed after that field goal with 11 seconds to go being all happy only to wake up confused and in horror the next day!  Ouch!  They are going to want that W back my friends at the end of the season.

In The Days of Yore, Defense Won The Games

In the old days of football, defense did not necessarily ensure victory but the defense dominating teams became a dynasty.  Names like the “Steel Curtain” and even defensive players winning the Big Game MVP seem to be a recent memory that may not be repeated.  Now, I am not saying that defense is gone, but we may have turned some corners.  The offensive schemes and West Coast Offense have invented terms such as controlled passing.  Who would pass on 3rd and 3 in 1975?  Nobody, but now quarterbacks throw 2 – 10 yard completions with regularity.  The field is getting sampled in smaller chunks and the offense is winning the battle.  I think that there are lots of great athletes who can expose man and cover-2 defense and when that happens, lights out.  More importantly, Fantasy Football is about offense and the games would not be any fun without it.  Still, I long for smothering defenses that threw down shutouts and ran over the offense with abandon.  Now, more mobile quarterbacks take up a spies “eye” and the defense is now 10 strong instead of 11.  So the Captain’s log tells the tale of the week.

Captain’s Log – 09-16-2003 – 1:30 AM

We are now in the ocean blue and the second obstacle was a small shoal near the second beacon on our way.  We were fixin’ the hole from that first mine and it was a lucky navigable feat that the newly reliable Monsieur Henry d’ Travis of the Bills d’ Buffalo ran about all over the ship with the only good eyepiece we had.  His quick feet kept the crew above water contributing mightily to our cause and we missed that low spot in the ocean.  A win is a win is a win but we will take it any way we can get it.  Just into the season and we know it will take a miracle to win the whole shooting match.  This Captain is sure envious of the Lewis D’ Jamal and the Holmes d’ Priest on the other vessels in our league.  But trouble lurks everywhere and anything can happen on any given day in this, the Nautical Frustration League.  Where’s Aqua-Man when you need him?

Master D.

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