Sunday - Apr 21, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 21

The big game has arrived.  This means the mandatory food, pageantry, and all the other fancy stuff that the end of the NFL season brings.  Most of my attention though will be directed again towards those funny, thoughtful, and expensive commercials.  That and mandatory predictive thoughts on the big game will adorn the last column of the year. 

The Cost Of Advertising in the Big Game

The first advertisement in the first big game brought a measly $42,000.  But factoring in some inflation figures and you get about $216,000 in dollars today.  The cost of inflation during this time is somewhere south of 8% compounded year over year.  But the cost of a commercial this year will bring a little more than 10 times that inflation figure.  So advertising outpaces inflation in every way and the audience has paid attention.  Last year, it cost you 2.1 Million Dollars for thirty seconds.  This year there was a 7% stipend placed on top of that to get to this years 2.25 million dollar figure.

So What Does 2.25 Million Get You These Days?

30 seconds to state your case.  These 30 seconds are about pure adrenalin, pure nothingness, and pure laughter.  Will you purchase their products?  Maybe, maybe not and this year many men will not admit to being a customer for some of them.  Two companies will be after the Viagra market marketing their solutions for erectile dysfunction. There will be an IBM commercial about Linux.  Hey, if Linux is so great, why am I not using it right now?  But then there will be humor.  And its laughs that bring us to the commercials.

Funny, Funny, Funny

Laugh out loud stuff that makes you cry.  That is the best kind of commercial.  Then there are the others that make you think, you spent 2.25 million for 30 seconds of this?  What I really enjoy is that the right commercial at the right time will crystallize the moment.  When you look back on the commercials over the years, you can be amazed about the crystallization of time.  For example, an E*Trade commercial at the Big Game on February 12th 2000 had a man in the hospital.  What was his malady?  He had money coming out the whazoo!  Now, wouldn’t you know it that this almost perfectly selects the top of the market?  How crazy is that?  No money out the Whazoo ads this year but look for these notables.

Must Look For Ads This Year

Willie Nelson reprises his role doing an ad for tax problems.  Look for a Willie doll that randomly answers your tax questions.  Terry Tate, the office linebacker makes another appearance.  The usual slew of Budweiser ads will ask us to wonder how this is really related to the act of imbibing. Look for a commercial that pits an elderly couple battling over potato chips. Jessica Simpson will try to steal Kermie from Miss Piggy.  And, speaking of Simpsons, Homer will reveal a great reaction to the “priceless” ads voice guy.  That commercial will appeal mostly to those between 35-45 and may just take the unofficial prize as most popular commercial in 2004.  Have a good time and be safe. And remember, not all ads ensure a future for the company forking over the dough.  Whatever happened to that Sock Puppet?

Look For The Patriots

It is going go be close.  So here is the simple game plan.  Everyone knows that Bill Belichick had two weeks to prepare for the Panthers.  What did he think?  He thought…”We will win this game if Jake Delhomme throws 45 passes just like Manning.  And Delhomme is not like Manning so lets do that.”  Look for an extra Patriots defenseman in the box to make the Carolina running game non-existent.  Everyone knows this is going to happen so if Carolina can throw a wrinkle into all of this via a few structured large pass plays to Smith or Muhammad, the game becomes a toss-up.  So it all hinges on Jake Delhomme’s arm.  I think he will do fine but not fine enough.  Look for the Patriots 17 – 15 in a thriller that sees Kasay’s 6th field goal attempt go wide left at the end of the game!

See you next season when the Captain wanders back into Forgotten Bay looking to amass another cadre of sailors to do his bidding.

 Master D.

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