The week starts off pretty normal. Then you get an e-mail from your college roommate. Now that I am an old man, you have to understand that college roommates are few and far between. You respect them like your grandparents and talking with them in my advancing age brings about certain mirth and even merriment. However, they still needle you like the sibling you love to hate … yet still love. It just so happens that my college roommate is Robert Schare. Yes, the Rob Schare that edits this site. So the article heads in that direction. It’s all about the E-Mail.
So, everything is going wrong with your fantasy football team and it just so happens you are playing your college roommate this week. What is the difference between playing your college roommate and playing someone else in the league you may ask? It is pretty straightforward. Everyone else ignores you; however, your roommate from college reminds you that you are a 12 point underdog. The actual body of the e-mail went as follows. Mind you his team is the Hopkington BlueMoose and I am the Cromwell Demolition.
Subject: this weekend
Nice to see the BlueMoose favored by 12 over the Demolition. Should be a nice drubbing this weekend!
And you know what? The actual information was wrong. The BlueMoose should be favored by 25 because I endured a drubbing. The total score was 143 – 118. Oh well, it happens, I guess. Every now and then, you are taken out to the woodshed.
Taken Out To The Woodshed
You have to understand folks; losing to your roommate in college is unacceptable. I mean this is the same guy I won a $5 bet on the 1988 Olympic scoring in men’s figure skating. I probably should not admit that but it is the very truth. Let us analyze this loss, shall we? Here is where I got pummeled my friends. Tight End J. Witten, Kicker N. Rackers, and the Buccaneers defense combined for 56 points! That is where everyone is supposed to be even-steven. My Tight End, Kicker, and Defense combined for 40 points. I lost by 25 and this is only 16. Let me tell you about my running back issues. One running back is E. James, yes and he is just fine. The other got 0 points because he is just not performing. And the fact that one of my running backs is getting 0 points is the reason for my demise. This is why I have spoken about this at length in my previous articles. So now I am a team without 15 points. I may take the collar this year but every week I am going to try to improve my team. So you can come along that journey with me this year. No one said this would be easy but it has come to this. It’s a vision quest part deux.
Vision Quest Part Deux
I am now 0-3. What does that mean? When Curtis Martin “may” be hurt, you get Derrick Blaylock. And it goes on from there because all running backs in all fantasy football leagues are treated like gold. They are desired beyond belief for their versatility and their ability to score the large fantasy points. I beg for a chance to get a poor RB but there are no trades in the works so I am a lonely man in a lonely sea. At least you don’t have to play a QVC host this week. That and more as always next week.
Tim can now be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.