Friday - Apr 26, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 3

The Virgin has a new Bat time on the same Bat Channel. Makes me think out loud… “Holy Tuesday’s Caped Crusader!” Oh what a difference a day makes… or two.

Any who, the Virgin is capable of change and all pretense is abandoned for the post-mortem that is the fantasy football week. So with this new time we get to talk about the week that was. And this is reporting to you from the new BatCave. The Virgin purchased a plot of land to call his own and this humble computer specialist has arrived. So… “onward to the Batmo-article boy wonder!” My first area of pursuit you ask? That would be the injury of Andre Johnson.

Why Get Injured Andre?

The Texans had this crazy statistic. This is not going to be exactly right but out of 37 pass plays so far this year, something like 35 were directed toward Andre Johnson. Summarily, the Virgin has been riding this horse and benefiting like no other in the world of the Fantasy Football. Outrageous numbers from Andre combined with the shenanigans of T.O. and the result has been crazy numbers.

But this week is without Andre and the result?… yes… don’t cry for me… for I lost.

My Opponent Had -1 From Their QB?

When you log on for your score, you peruse through the top-line and some things stick out. They stick out like that white ball in the middle of the fairway. When your QB has a -1, you are toast. I feel so bad for those who have Bulger. That Ram offense was the very best in (Howard Cosell voice)… “The league that is National Football… right there!” That is unless you have Anquan Boldin. Boldin goes crazy and I am a loser by at least 17 points. The kicker is that my team threw up a score that would have beaten 8 of the 12 teams in my league. The price is just sometimes so wrong Bob! Well, since I am on another day, I will re-introduce myself to maybe a new crop of fans coming to this site on a different day.

The Diary of A Fantasy Virgin Retrospective

Hello, my name is Tim and this is my 115th article on this fantasysharks.com website. I am the Fantasy Virgin. Who says you cannot be a virgin more than once? I created the Fantasy Virgin persona the first year that my roommate from college (editor Rob Schare) asked me to write for this site. I guess I owed him some money and this is the price I pay for it. I am a Red Sox fan. I love Walt Disney World and one year I did spend 54 calendar days at Walt Disney World. I am a fan of the geographical area known as

New England especially in the fall. I am also a fan of the three greatest cartoons written specifically at this time. That is … #1 It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown; #2 A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and #3 A Charlie Brown Christmas. Every time I mention this and/or write an article about them, the owner of the website gets irked, but that is ok. This is almost freedom of speech you know. The Fantasy Virgin talks about the week of football from a new player’s experience. From my experience I lament about the losses and cheer on the victories. Currently I am lucking out with the combination of Tony Romo and T.O. How do I achieve all this you ask? I study nothing. I know nothing. I leave my brain at the door and utilize this site to pick my… team in the draft… my lineup during the week… and my pickups during the week. I guess I probably have knowledge since I started this gig 5 years ago but I am so formulaic that get to… ”abandon all ye knowledge at the door”. So welcome to this week’s article at the new time. Every now and then I write to my diary. It is usually about the Red Sox or something germane to the world of Football. So to all the Thursday fans, please come a few days earlier. Oh, I sign my name as Master D. because I have a Masters Degree. I don’t know if I will ever become Doctor D. but Master D. is just fine for now. Fare thee well and welcome.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at

tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

About Fantasy Sharks

FantasySharks.com began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.