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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 5

The fall foliage is breathtaking every year, but more so this year due to the wet summer and cooler temperatures than normal, no doubt. I stepped outside on Sunday and it was frosty this morning and the sky was azure blue. Speaking of stepping, my fantasy team is stepping into land mines. After starting out the season 2-0, my season is crashing all around me. But it is just a temporary setback. Just when you think it all goes wrong, it starts going wrong for your opponent as well. I also violated the normal sequence of events and it will cost me future victories for sure. So here is the week that was.

I Can See For Miles and Miles

In all respect to The Who,

Miles Austin was a top point-getter this week. One of the things that I do is just check out my lineup, and when I see an injured player like

Roy Williams, I always pick up his replacement. I did not do that this week. Whoopsie! And Miles goes for 47 points in our scoring system! That one is going to come back and haunt me for sure. Peyton Manning seems to make everyone around him better and better and that means new receiver

Austin Collie gets the nod for WR pickup as well. My week was out of commission right at the start.

Our Acting Commissioner Is Strict

Our normal commissioner went on a business trip for a month so we got someone else in the league to cover. And just like that, my strategy of putting anyone on the injury list becomes a problem. I guess you can only put injured people on the injury list and not use it as a place to hide good and potentially good players. Talk about embarrassing. I was cheating all along and I didn’t know it. Yikes! I did not pay any attention to the message boards, so I lost a bunch of players and got this message created about putting people on the injury list that didn’t belong sent to the whole league because of me. All I can say is a commissioner who enforces fantasy football rules that are based on a morality play is like a mall cop that oversteps their bounds.

 I admire the honesty but come on! We have been playing this way for seven years! And now? Really? My team is suffering and my best stratagem to get out is taken away. Oh well. It’s only fantasy football, right? Or is it?

Blue Boxes VS. Orange Boxes

So I login to the Website on Sunday night or Monday morning and notice that five of my players have those blue boxes next to their names. The sad part is the opponent has four orange boxes. Orange boxes go next to hot players like


 Blue boxes go next to cold players like

Fred Jackson. But blue boxes are not necessarily due to the players but the teams that suffer during the week. So if you have any players on teams that are scoreless during the week or have started out the year with a record of 0-5, you know what I am talking about. My record is 2-3 and my season is on the brink. At least I have more time, unlike the Red Sox.

Dear Diary

The Red Sox got swept out of the playoffs and all it took was a decent Angel pitching staff and cold bats. You can’t have batters 2-4 in the lineup go like 1-for-9, 1-for-9, and 1-for-10 and then bat .158 as a team and expect to win, eh? To add insult to injury, Jonathan Papelbon has his first bad outing in 26 postseason innings and it is all gone. The season ends just like it did in 2005 with a sweep and a victory by the opponent in your house. Oh the humanity. But as a lifelong Red Sox fan, you take the good with the bad.

And those Yankees look so good; I doth not speak of it anymore!

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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