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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 6

How about that comeback by the Boston Red Sox and a win by the New England Patriots on the same night? That is New England for you. But I digress. If a fantasy football team and most of the players halt production due to malaise, does anyone notice? Heck, yeah! That noise that you heard my friends was my fantasy football team imploding under the weight of “coulda” and “shoulda.” It “coulda” been a great year but I “shoulda” drafted anyone on the Denver Broncos. My first area of exploration is the tough news about wide receiver and Atlanta Falcons great Julio Jones.

Julio I Hardly Knew-lio

Wide receiver Julio Jones was fantastic through the first five weeks of fantasy football. He had 41 receptions and 580 yards with two touchdowns. In a points per reception (PPR) league, Jones alone would have resulted in 22.2 points per week. This is a very good start to a week, my friends. Add the combination of wide receiver Dez Bryant and you have yourself a chance at winning it all. But now I don’t, so I have to fill in a gaping maw that has appeared out of nowhere. No worries. We just go next man up.

Next Man … Down

In the end, I got a great performance from Andy Dalton and really nothing else. I ended up losing big and there are still several weeks to go before the playoffs. All is not lost but I will need some astute acquisitions and some timely play by my team to turn this fantasy football team around. My overall record is 2-4 and I am desperately in need of some good luck. I will be scouring the free agents this week trying to pick out my next contributor.

My diary entry is about the Leafles.

Dear Diary

There are these people that love leaves. They don’t like the brown variety, mind you. They rather enjoy the beautiful red and burnt orange variety that are beginning to dot the southern New England landscape. They are people who love leaves … or “Leafles,” as I affectionately love to refer to them.

If you are not from New England, you may not realize how crazy it gets. You cannot rent a car. You cannot rent a room. We were at a Connecticut Winery the other day and someone was inquiring about availability at the inn. Ha! That sold out one year ago you leaflet novice. Get out of my sight!

I just thought all those things, but nonetheless, New England gets a little whacky when we enter peak foliage season. Brace yourselves, my local friends. If you are forced off the road into a ditch by a leafle taking a picture of that statuesque maple growing in your way, do not blame me.

Blame the Leafles.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

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