Friday - Apr 19, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin, Week 6

It is that time of the year where you have to be a little bit lucky. This week is about the bye week. I just want my team to get over the bye, get back a healthy

Andre Johnson and get on with it.

Just like my team did not. Let me start out with in the immortal words of N’Sync… ”it may sound crazy but it ain’t no lie bye bye bye”…

Bye Week

The bye week is strange. It sneaks up on you. You may be doing chores on Sunday when you get that crazy idea that goes something like the following statement. “Hey, I have to set my team… I will be right back.” You are not going back my friends. You do not have a Defense because both are on a bye week and so is your kicker. So I pick up a kicker on the lam and think defense amongst the teams that are remaining. And then all the scoring kicks in… for your opponent.

Who The Heck Are These Guys?

On Sunday night, the scores are posted and your opponent had monster numbers from their receivers. I am talking my 24 points from two receivers and then 59 for them. The reason is that the offense has come out this week my friends. The Big “O” with games like Cleveland &

Miami going for 72 total points and New England & Dallas going for 75 points resulting in big numbers for players on those teams. And in the end, my opponent had enough firepower on the strength of

Steve Smith and

Braylon Edwards. With one of my receivers down and out, I limped along for a loss. Let’s see what is on the mind in the Diary this week.

Dear Diary

I turn on football every Sunday and Monday and am amazed. The announcers who are mostly well spoken and are somewhat oldish were the players that I grew up watching when I was a child. 

Now when I was a child, I mostly knew them as announcers because I never saw those announcers play. It is weird having this perspective. Another perspective was this bye week.

There was no bye week, no Thursday Football (Except on Thanksgiving) and if you liked the AFC, you watched NBC. If you liked the NFC, you watched CBS. There were no blackouts or they didn’t talk about them at least and the in game commentary about scores around the league was precious.

There were 16 games in 16 weeks and we liked it. The highlight was Monday Night Football. The halftime soliloquy by Mr. Howard Cosell was poetry in sight and sound. We recreated all of the great plays on the schoolyard. My school’s yard was blacktop so it was two hand touch. I can’t tell you how many times we threw that hook & lateral from the Miami Dolphin San Diego Charger AFC playoff game on Jan. 2. Our exception is that we did it nerf-style and with school just getting back from Christmas break, it was the talk of the yard.

But now we have HD, several options and I can even slow the HD down like the replay official does. The best part is that you can take the feed in slow motion and do that in slow motion which results in this uber slow motion that is crisp and to the point. It is so painfully slow that my wife may come by and think aloud “… what the heck is that”? … or “… is the TV broke?”. Ah, the boys with their toys.

What will the future bring? Maybe another bye week because of the “…violence”. More like violence

in the pocketbook is what I am thinking. Maybe the future will bring 500 lb. offensive and defensive linemen. Now that is a lot of

Turkey on Thanksgiving Day. Yes, my friends, that is coming to in a month or so.

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at

and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

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