Monday - Jun 24, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 6

All things being equal, it’s going to be a long year for the Virgin.  Maybe you are experiencing overwhelming success.  However, the team that I drafted has been benched for injury, lost its overall focus, and just having a bad season.  The ironic part is that the NFL doesn’t allow you to put your team member on injured reserve unless they have been declared injured.  If they are a game time decision, beware!  Please see a previous article about this lament.  It is at this time we need to make some soul searching promises to one own self.  The first and only creed to follow when it gets this way is to play the team that you primarily drafted.

This Week I Will Play The Players With The Best Stats

I know it sounds rather trite, but week after week I find myself trying to squeeze an extra few points out of the defense or an unknown running back.  This week, just do yourself a favor and play the best statistical team that you have.  For some reason, it can get away from you in a very short while and pushing the backside of an envelope usually leaves you out of the envelope.  This week therefore, I vow to play my best statistical lineup.  Anything can happen and it usually is all bad but consistency is the main theme this week.  By now, all items are known and rhetorical conversations with you own self will not make the team win.  So keep scanning the horizon for some late season acquisitions but accept that your team will either bounce back or be made shark tender vittles.  I think that is what the Captain was avoiding this week.

Captain’s Log – 10-13-2003 – 11:00 PM

Artemis came to me cabin today and we talked about winning.  He stated to me “that the ultimate reflection on the importance of winning is reflected back to us in society through actions that are the opposite of the intended audience”.  For example, sayings like “…There is no ‘I’ in team” and “It’s better to be at least in the game regardless whether or not you win.”   These statements only indicate that there probably is an ‘I’ in team.  Each individual needs to pick each other up for the team to be successful.  So there may be no ‘I’ in team but you cannot spell it without the letters M followed by E.  This led me to believe that Artemis was drinking a little bit too much bubbly before coming down to the captain’s quarters.  And at this moment a tropical storm beat on us and we battened down the hatches and all was to no avail.  We had our mainsail break and our team became demoralized as we achieved yet another loss.  But at least we are in the ship at sea which is much better than not being in the belly of this ship on the high seas at all!

Master D.


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