Tuesday - May 21, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 7

OK. I am trying to get through this week. There are six teams on a bye, and if you are part of that party, good luck and God bless. When your team is off due to a bye week, you have to look introspectively into the chasm that is fantasy football and try to emerge on the other side a participant. Where did I end up? Let us look into the other side, shall we?

The Other Team

So you enter the awful week. And you say to yourself: ”What is the deal with this?” However in this game, if you have six players on a bye week you are stressed out. Then again, what if you are playing against someone that has eight players on a bye week? I think that things are looking up! And then you win! And when you do, all is well, but you feel as though you got away with something. OK…I did, but all is well because I am now 6-1 and fantasy football is taking on some ethereal experience. Everyone in southern New England is in preparation…preparation for those who love the leaves. I refer to them as leafles.

Preparing For Leafles

Leafles are people who love the leaves in New England but are not currently living in New England. They invade our borders, rent all the vehicles in the vicinity, and take pictures of every beautiful sunrise, mid-day, and sunset New England has to offer. It has been going on for three weeks now, and it is ending dramatically in southern New England this week. It peaked in my hometown this last Thursday with a scene right out of Norman Rockwell. A maple lined street raining down beautiful oranges, reds and yellows all to my amazement. Places like Mystic and Stonington, Conn. are in the cross-hairs as the last golden-reddish hue flashes brilliantly across a warm sunlit sky. The leafles come and then they just go. This year, the colors are great, but they came and went quicker than ever. This is unlike last year where it seemed to last and last. I can only blame the lack of rain this year. I am not getting emotional as I suspected last year. Ha! Anyway, I welcome all the leafles great and leafles small. Welcome to our tiny hamlet named after England. New England is a treasure and it is meant for all. Just make sure you leave before the first snow hits.

Dear Diary

When I observe the changes of the season, I am reminded of my own mortality. That is why I do not live in San Diego. When you live there, every day is 75 degrees and sunny. That is a lifetime that ends in a shocking revelation of unexpected consequence. Hey! I am now 80 years old and it is 75 degrees and sunny. How much fun is that?

We live in New England because New England is the cradle of our Republic. We love it because it sometimes has extreme winters and extreme summers. We are constantly reminded when the time comes up and we still get through it, nonetheless.

Fare thee well, leafles, and everyone else visiting New England!

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at
and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

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