Sunday - May 19, 2019

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 8

What is Fantasy Football like when your #1 Running Back is on a bye week?  It’s like that saying from the dentist … “This will only hurt a little”. Ouch!  And then you have to find anyone who can fill in for the running back.  It is awful. The dreaded #1 player bye week.

#1 Player Bye Week

Your number 1 RB is now on a siesta.  This is great because he is resting for the big push to the playoffs.  But what is an owner of a fantasy team to do? We do not get a bye week as Fantasy Footballers.  All we get is a free lunch at Chez Loser.  Or do we?  What transpires next are the Fantasy Virgin’s feeble attempts to make it through the week that was.

Grab That Tony Fisher

Green Bay is missing one running back.  Let us now go after the next gentlemen in the long line of gentle runners who have donned the Green Bay uniform this year.  So we grab him and throw him in the lineup.  Who comes next?  Any body … yes, you heard that right, ANY BODY.   That is because with only one running back, that means we have to get two running backs to solve this dilemma.  Throw in Jerome Bettis!  He will run all over Baltimore.

No Running All Over Baltimore

Two points later and it has become the subject of dalliance.  It is a mere bump in the road to success. In other words, taken out to the woodshed because your opponent not only is NOT on a bye week, but also has Tiki Barber! Arrrggghhhh!  That huge victory by the Giants d’ NY made the numbers go way up.  It was the all Tiki all the time show.  This Tiki was not only bigger and badder than that tiki on the Brady Bunch special in Hawaii with Vincent Price mind you.   (Just made a certain population smile).  No no no my friends.  It was all that and a bag of haggis served with a smile.  What to do now?  Welcome back a starting lineup … sans QB.

Without A QB

A certain M. Bulger is injured this last week.  What does that mean?  It only means that I have the pleasure of starting journey-man, whose-his-name, or whats-his-face.  This results in a paltry 10 points but its better than nothing which is what some running backs have given me this year my friends.  So now is the time where we hope for a miraculous recovery from our QB, find another RB, and pray to every deity.  The Demolition, after getting to .500 is now 2 games under and swooning.  It’s all just fantastically fantastical this fantasy football.  Yes, for sure.

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles

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