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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 9

When it rains, it pours. The separation of the ‘haves’ and the ‘havenots’ is widening. This phenomenon is not only in the NFL real world but in the fantasy football realm as well. This is the time of the year to try and find some new difference makers if your team is below, or way below, .500.

This is the time to make that key acquisition to shore up your team as we head to the playoffs. No matter who you are the key is to stay alert. Also, I will have to give a special shoutout to the 2013 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. I will try to be demur this year.

Why Is The End Zone So Elusive?

This is the week to get a victory, my friends. But the end zone is sometimes a far oasis in the desert. You are unable to discern water from sand. So I broke up the band and put in quarterback Andy Dalton, who promptly followed up a monster week with a no-touchdown, three-interception, one-fumble lost performance. ‘Uh oh,’ I thought to myself. This is happening on Thursday. What happens next? The only touchdown scored was by my defense this week and “The Virginator” is now at 3-6. What to do?

Nick Foles, Where Art Thou? 

It is a week too late for me, but quarterback Nick Foles of the Philadelphia Eagles is the kind of offense I require to get back into this season. A running back like Chris Ivory from the New York Jets would be fun as well. Every team has some diamonds. For example, quarterback Josh McCown will outperform my quarterback in the first half! The NFL games get a little ragged and by Thanksgiving it is all shaken out. Still four more weeks to go but something is happening. Stay Tuned! My diary entry is my final article about the Red Sox.

Dear Diary

I always write a denouement to the Boston Red Sox season. Sometimes it comes early and I only write one article. I blab on about chemistry and pitching and hitting. All that you need to know is that they did not either make the playoffs or they were ousted early. In 2004, I wrote a long crazy article that was polarizing at best. It had nothing to do with fantasy football, but, when you go 86 years without a World Series championship, now you have something to talk about. This year is a different story.

The Red Sox, behind dominant pitching by Jon Lester and John Lackey and closer Koji Uehara, along with bearded players with timely hitting, beat the following combinations to win the 2013 World Series.

They defeated Matt Moore and David Price of the Tampa Bay Rays. They defeated Justin Verlander and Max Scherzer of the Detroit Tigers. Lastly, they defeated Michael Wacha and Adam Wainwright of the St. Louis Cardinals to win their third World Series title in 10 years. Those pitching combinations were the cream of the baseball crop in 2013.

World Series Most Valuable Player, David Ortiz, batted .688 and was only two hits shy of a World Series record for hits. As a side note, all the other records were set in seven games, and in the sixth game of the World Series St. Louis caught on and walked Ortiz intentionally three times (four times overall in the series). Come on!

The games were back-and-forth for the most part with very few situations separating the teams. Other than Ortiz, each team struggled to hit .200, which made for long epic affairs where everything seemed in the balance of a pitch or a play in the field.

So, I hide my jubilation in the “Dear Diary” section of my article because polarizing fans twice in 10 years is not right. Go Red Sox!

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at

and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

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