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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 9

OK. This is my usual article about freaking November. Like what is up with that? As of this writing, it will be 2 weeks to Thanksgiving and 6 or so weeks to Christmas. The Fantasy Football season ends for us at week 14. Oh geez, it’s just happening so fast and the losses are mounting. Where can I go this week? Yeah, it’s just another bye week in loserville

U.S.A.

Another Bye Week

I get back my big guns in T. Romo and T.O. And they have a fantastic week. But injuries have left my team without R. Brown and J. Chatman is on a bye week anyway. This means I am catapulting toward another loss. Still, I can take some solace in that only one more player of mine has a bye week and then the team will be all together. Yes that is week 11. It will be safe to come back and play. Hopefully a complete team will be there as well. I hope to be above .500. At worst, I will be .500 which is awful considering the snappy 5-2 start I got off to. In fact this week, the suspense just isn’t all that riveting. So what can you say? Say Sunday win Captain Crunch. Sunday Win.

A Sunday Win

A Sunday win is when your team is winning by a handful of points but your opponent still has one player or more left. You know the loss is inevitable. The fact that I am still winning and the time being 9:20 PM is truly a miracle. Combine this with the fact that you are playing against your old college roommate and it is just wrong on so many levels. Because the bragging rights last a lifetime… well, least a week… or maybe even an afternoon. But anyway, this is an important week alright! Especially when you’ve known someone for 21 years, you get all flub-flistered and you are just not right in the head. So the combination of a Sunday win and your college roommate sticking it to you is just wrong. Let’s see what the diary has to say this week. I am feeling its Christmas time… once more.

Dear Diary

It is November 5th and I found myself looking for light bulbs in Lowe’s. They were there alright. When out in my peripheral vision appeared a plastic Christmas tree all lit up for the holiday… that was still 6 weeks away. My eye continued and along with this tree was a huge X-Mas display room. So I took a look in the enclosed room.

It was eerily quiet. Almost like I was the first to partake in the X-Mas coming out party. The shelves were stacked with all these lights that no one had bought yet and there were festive colors and also a singing Moose that had a “try me” button… so I did. And a crooning sound emanated from this Moose that had me wondering if I had just landed on planet Mars. The quality was better than ever.

Then I realized that if I was the only person in here, there must be some way of knowing that I am trying all this stuff out. So I proceeded to enable all of the mooses singing brethren festooned in holiday glamour. The eerie sound of Jingle Bells, I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause, and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer all smashed together brought harmony to an outrageous moment.

November 5th. Big time Christmas display and nobody there… yet. I just hope I can be thankful before the holiday shopping kicks in. Why do I feel that it has happened and I am already behind?

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at

tdavoll@fantasysharks.com

and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles .

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FantasySharks.com began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.