Monday - Jan 18, 2021

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The Icebox – Lewis in a conundrum?

Conundrum; A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma

I get the feeling this is the word Jamal Lewis is grasping for right now – if he is found guilty of conspiring to distribute cocaine and using a cell phone to plan a drug transaction he faces what the media has described a “career-ending” prison sentence. He contends that he is innocent, yet Al Michaels told us during the Monday Night Football broadcast that he was willing to plea bargain down to lesser sentence which, although it will keep him out of prison long term, will almost assuredly trigger an NFL suspension for violations of the league substance abuse and personal conduct policies.

Jamal, come on man. If you want to lie to some one, I’ll loan you a quarter so you can call your mom. With the money at your disposal, between the team you play for, the agents who represent you and your own fat salary, if you were really not guilty, you would fight the charges. No public figure in your position would stand to have your name smeared in this fashion if you were completely clean.

The FBI isn’t infallible but they must have something on Lewis to convince his legal team to negotiate a lesser charge.

According to ESPN’s Sal Paoloantonio, sources close to Lewis said he “…will admit his guilt in introducing a federal informant to Lewis’ friend, Angelo Jackson, for the purpose of a cocaine deal between Jackson and the informant in June of 2000.” Lewis does a few months in a halfway house. I wonder if he’ll bunk with Martha Stewart? They can drink tea and exchange recipes.

As a Lewis owner, part of me sighed in relief that he wouldn’t be going to trial in November. If the NFL reacts as quickly as they have in the Onterrio Smith case, the season might be over before they consider what suspension, if any, to level on Lewis.

As a fan a much larger part of me wants to see them throw the book at him. Unfortunately the book they end up throwing will look more like a pocket bible and leave nary a bruise.

Tiki Barber is second in the NFL behind Priest Holmes in both rushing yards and first in yards from scrimmage. If you were one of the lucky ones who drafted him (he went very late considering his pre-season rankings due to concerns about his apparent fumbilitis) you are probably one of the top teams in your league. Those who took Deuce McAllister,Stephen Davis, Fred Taylor and Domanick Davis are probably scrounging the waiver wires for Aaron Stecker, Jonathan Wells and Amos Zeroue, after picking up Tyrone Wheatley and giving him a start this week. Few are surprised that two Indianapolis Colts players are in the top five for receiving yards. The surprise is neither ones name is Harrison. Marvelous Marvin is suddenly missing, and might be making a move if the season continues like this.

I’ve been playing Waiver Hoover. I check the waiver wires every, oh, ten seconds looking for any updates on potential fantasy players after spending my first three Atlantic Hammerhead draft choices on Deuce, Rudi Johnson and Michael Vick. I managed to scrape Stecker, Stokley and Eric Johnson of the waivers and finally won a game this week. Then I benched Stokley on the oft-proven theory that a free agent wide receiver who has a stud week never follows it up with two in a row. So I started Ashley Lelie.

Yeah, I got my dunce cap and I’m headed to the corner. But at least this week it will be with the knowledge that I am tied with four other poor saps. So please don’t send the invitations to the Mako Shark leagues just yet.

Sharks and Chum


Sharks – Tom Brady, Billy Volek and Byron Leftwich.

Honorable Mention – Brett Favre. What a warrior. Gets knocked out of the game, then puts himself back in on fourth down and throws a touchdown pass. Ya gotta admire a guy like that.

Chum – Kerry Collins, Michael Vick, Jay Fiedler. Collins turned the ball over five times and single handedly beat his new team. Mike Vick may be leading a 4-0 Falcons team, but he sucks in fantasy land. Fiedler, well, I’m not sure who to lay the most blame on. Him for another bad performance or Wanstedt for playing musical quarterbacks.


Sharks – Tiki Barber, Emmitt Smith, Priest Holmes. Another stellar game for a guy who many let slip down their draft boards, Barber added over 200 yards from scrimmage and is averaging 6.2 yards per carry and no fumbles. Wow. Emmitt Smith. What can you say? Priest Holmes went into the valley of death and feared no evil, Chris McAllister nor Ray Lewis, often running right past Lewis on his way to another 100 yard game and two touchdowns.

Chum – Fred Taylor, Quentin Griffin, Clinton Portis. Yeah Clinton, we know who da bestest running back in the NFL is. His name isn’t Portis. Fred Taylor continues to underwhelm his owners and Quentin Griffin is seeing the handwriting on the wall after giving up a lot of carries to Reuben “make me a sammich” Droughns


Sharks – Reche Caldwell, David Patten, Eric Moulds – Caldwell averaged a sick 36.7 yards per catch. Patten stepped up nicely this week, and it was good to see Moulds having his typically good year, since it’s an even numbered year.

Chum – Ron Gardner, Torry Holt, Reggie Wayne – Woof! They stunk so bad my dog wouldn’t play with them.


Sharks – Eric Johnson, Shad Meier, Antonio Gates, Jeremy Shockey. Johnson is the surprise leader at tight end so far this season. Gates is having an incredible year, and Shockey finally earned a little faith, probably about the time he got benched for someone else.

Chum – Ho hum. Who cares? No one really expects a lot from tight ends not named Crumpler, Shockey or Gonzalez anyway. I call ’em Bonus points. I am 4-0 in one league and my starting tight end is Chris Cooley from the Washington Redskins. There was a tight end feeding frenzy way too early in that draft, so I took runningbacks and wide receivers instead. Foolish me.


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