The Night Before Draftmas

THE NIGHT BEFORE DRAFTMAS

by Dynasty Force

‘Twas the night before Draftmas, when all through the house

All the kids were sleeping, even the spouse;

The cheat sheets were laid by the computer with care,

In hopes that the Draft God soon would be there;

The players were all ranked in a shark tank thread,

While visions of Touchdowns danced in my head;

I wore my Fantasy Sharks T-Shirt as proud as I could,

In hopes that the luck it would bring me would be good,

When in the tank there rose such a clatter,

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the post “Holmes down for the year”,

I opened the thread to see Hard 10 raise his beer.

I knew just then it was a prank,

Another Great White pulling a fast one in the tank.

But then, what to my wondering eyes I did see,

A sleeper ranking of Running Backs right before me,

I scanned the list, so lively and quick,

I was almost distracted by a Trilogy post of a hot college chick.

More certain than back-ups at an exhibition game,

I whistled, and shouted, as I called them by name;

“Now, Holmes! now, LT! now, Green and Deuce!

On, Portis! on Alexander! on, Taylor and Lewis!

To the top of the ranking! To the top of the list!

Number one, number two I couldn’t resist,

I had to re-rank them one by one

I was obsessed, it was midnight, it must be done!

So to the top of the cheat sheet they flew,

With a column for byes, VBD and projected touchdowns too.

And then, in a twinkling, I spotted a sleeper pick

It just appeared to me it was so quick.

On my cheat sheet I listed the sleeper I just found

When from the chimney I could hear the Draft God sound.

He was dressed in pads, from his head to his foot,

And his jersey was all tarnished with grass stains and soot;

With a football tucked away and a helmet on his head,

He looked like a mighty Running Back brought back from the dead.

His eyes — how they twinkled as bright as the sun

His cheeks were all flushed, like he just broke through a 100-yard TD run!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

As he looked at my cheat sheet rankings row by row;

He spat out his mouth guard as he began to speak,

“Always start your starters each and every week.”

I sat there frozen, lingering on his every word,

Am I dreaming I thought, did I just hear what I heard?

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He shuffled through all my papers and research before me

And pointed down at a name I did not see,

Laying his finger aside of his nose,

He gave me a nod, up the chimney he rose;

I sprang to my feet and starred at my ranking

My cheat sheet was complete, I had the Draft God for thanking

But then I heard something faintly as I laughed,

“Happy Draftmas to all, and to all a good draft.”