THE NIGHT BEFORE DRAFTMAS
by Dynasty Force
‘Twas the night before Draftmas, when all through the house
All the kids were sleeping, even the spouse;
The cheat sheets were laid by the computer with care,
In hopes that the Draft God soon would be there;
The players were all ranked in a shark tank thread,
While visions of Touchdowns danced in my head;
I wore my Fantasy Sharks T-Shirt as proud as I could,
In hopes that the luck it would bring me would be good,
When in the tank there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the post “Holmes down for the year”,
I opened the thread to see Hard 10 raise his beer.
I knew just then it was a prank,
Another Great White pulling a fast one in the tank.
But then, what to my wondering eyes I did see,
A sleeper ranking of Running Backs right before me,
I scanned the list, so lively and quick,
I was almost distracted by a Trilogy post of a hot college chick.
More certain than back-ups at an exhibition game,
I whistled, and shouted, as I called them by name;
“Now, Holmes! now, LT! now, Green and Deuce!
On, Portis! on Alexander! on, Taylor and Lewis!
To the top of the ranking! To the top of the list!
Number one, number two I couldn’t resist,
I had to re-rank them one by one
I was obsessed, it was midnight, it must be done!
So to the top of the cheat sheet they flew,
With a column for byes, VBD and projected touchdowns too.
And then, in a twinkling, I spotted a sleeper pick
It just appeared to me it was so quick.
On my cheat sheet I listed the sleeper I just found
When from the chimney I could hear the Draft God sound.
He was dressed in pads, from his head to his foot,
And his jersey was all tarnished with grass stains and soot;
With a football tucked away and a helmet on his head,
He looked like a mighty Running Back brought back from the dead.
His eyes — how they twinkled as bright as the sun
His cheeks were all flushed, like he just broke through a 100-yard TD run!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
As he looked at my cheat sheet rankings row by row;
He spat out his mouth guard as he began to speak,
“Always start your starters each and every week.”
I sat there frozen, lingering on his every word,
Am I dreaming I thought, did I just hear what I heard?
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He shuffled through all my papers and research before me
And pointed down at a name I did not see,
Laying his finger aside of his nose,
He gave me a nod, up the chimney he rose;
I sprang to my feet and starred at my ranking
My cheat sheet was complete, I had the Draft God for thanking
But then I heard something faintly as I laughed,
“Happy Draftmas to all, and to all a good draft.”