Monday - Apr 19, 2021

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The Nuthouse for Week 3

I’d like to start this week by commending a certain Web site that shall remain nameless for costing Team Bizarro a 2-0 start, as well as for almost costing my fantasy baseball team a playoff victory (due to the grace of Tim Hudson, I am in the championship). Thank you, unnamed Web site, for your up-to-date and accurate advice concerning
Cadillac Williams and Vlad Guerrero. Next time I’ll just consult the Magic 8-Ball instead.


Instead of being a moron and paying attention to said Web site, I could’ve consulted the Tank, one of the best resources online for real-time fantasy football information. Why?

Because it’s run by you, the readers. And message boards/forums are always a step ahead of so-call sports news services because people care more about their fantasy teams than writers care about their jobs. Remember that.


Anyway, it’s plain to see that benching the “questionable” Cadillac Williams hath cost Team Bizarro an unlikely 2-0 start, as everybody else performed to task. Did I mention that I had
Jake Delhomme, Cadillac and
Jerricho Cotchery on my bench and lost by five points to a team with
LaDainian Tomlinson? Somebody get me either Maalox or some sort of alcoholic beverage. Needless to say, it’s time to regroup and get ready for Week 3 by examining what the first two weeks have taught us.


Certain coaches need to have somebody lock them in a room and scream at them for a few hours. If Brian Billick would stop trying to be a genius, he would see that running the football with
Willis McGahee in the second half is a lot better than having
McNair or
Boller forcing the ball to
Todd Heap and
Derrick Mason. A good running game opens up the TE and WRs. Joe Gibbs finally rediscovered that after four years – that’s why
Portis and
Betts are solid RB starters so far, and why Cooley was ranked so highly as a TE. Until Billick lets the Ravens stick to its bread and butter, McGahee will be a slight auction bust for $20+ in some leagues.


Speaking of RBs not playing to potential, when did Belicheck turn into Mike Shanahan?
Sammy Morris is now the
Maroney TD vulture; congratulations, Maroney owners. This happens because the Patriots are playing pitch-and-catch out there to
Randy Moss,
Wes Welker and
Ben Watson. The problem with having a running back on a team that destroys everyone is that they run the ball out with the backups in the second half. Maroney is another $20+ guy who hasn’t lived up to billing.


We can’t leave disappointments solely to the running backs. What about
Lee Evans and
Larry Fitzgerald? Fitzgerald could become the No. 1 traded WR in leagues over the next two weeks, due to reports that he wants out of Arizona. Malcontents rarely produce, unless your name is T.O. Larry probably won’t reach WR1 level this year, but Evans still has a chance – Buffalo’s schedule gets lighter from here on out.


Play all of your starters against the following defenses: Cleveland, New York Giants, Cincinnati, Kansas City (
Cedric Benson with 100+!). Atlanta and New Orleans (can’t stop the run). We may need to add Philly to this list after this week (Martz is drooling over the Eagles secondary). So play their opponents without hesitation.


Have you looked at the stats in your league after two weeks? Most likely you’ll see that the Nuthouse is still rolling with its Stud QB theory.
Carson Palmer,
Tony Romo and
Jake Delhomme are the top three scorers in my league. No. 5 is
Tom Brady. Now the running backs are following further down the pack, but except for
Joseph Addai, it isn’t your usual suspects –
Edgerrin James,
LaMont Jordan and
Adrian Peterson among them. Now some of this is a product of schedule, but some of it is that they are the undisputed No 1 RBs on their teams (Peterson by injury). Two of the usual names are there for the same reason – Addai and
Travis Henry haven’t been coming out of the game, for the most part.


So how about some comeback running backs this week, in honor of my boys
Cedric Benson and
Cadillac Williams?


Thomas Jones, NYJ:

Miami was bludgeoned by Portis/Betts in Week 1, and by Barber/Jones in Week 2. The Jets may have a gimpy Chad or the rookie Clemens aat QB, so Jones gets the ball early and often.


LaDainian Tomlinson SDC:

A slight stretch here, because the Pack defense is pretty good. But Derrick Ward ate up some decent chunks of yardage against them last week, so this should be the first 100-yard game for Tomlinson.


DeShaun/DeAngelo CAR:

They stunk so bad last week, after a solid Week 1, that they don’t deserve last names. Atlanta must decide whether they want to die fast (
Steve Smith) or die slow (the run). Methinks they’ll double Smith and take their chances. If Carolina wasn’t RBBC, it’d be a lay-up. Oh, for the days of
Stephen Davis.


Chris Brown TEN:

LenDale White may not have the opportunity to gobble up Chrissy’s TDs this week if he’s scoring on 20-yard runs. New Orleans has been dreadful against the run. They need the offense to take a solid lead, which will negate Tennessee’s running. But the Titans D is solid, so I’ll take a shot here with this call.


Cadillac Williams TB:

Who cares if he had a good week last week? Every week is a comeback after last season. The people demand more! He’s got St. Louis at home, and the Rams aren’t good road team. Rev up the engine, Cadillac, and drive Team Bizarro to victory!


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