Thursday - Apr 18, 2019

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The Observation Deck

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?”. No, Coach Wannstedt, it’s just you. Did anyone have week one in the “When will the rumblings of firing Dave Wannstedt begin?” pool? If the Dolphins lose to the Jets this coming week, Wannstedt won’t be around to see if Miami can reverse their December curse.

Hey David Boston, I didn’t draft you in two different leagues in the third round so that you can make two stinking catches for twenty yards! If you burn me two years in a row, you are officially going on the “S-list”.

So Kurt Warner was hit so hard on Sunday, he had no idea where he was. Do you think when he started to come through he thought, “Wow, what a terrible dream. I dreamt I was working in a supermarket stocking shelves for six bucks ah hour and I was married to…AAHH!! Make it stop!!

Anyone who drafted Anquan Boldin please raise your hand? Put your hands down you liars!! The Blake to Boldin connection was the most potent duo of the week. Another reason why I stopped betting on football.

Let me get this straight. Joey Harrington threw four TDs and Brett Favre threw four INTs. Jeff Blake threw three TDs and Kurt Warner fumbled six times. I think I know why my teams look so bad right now. I had my QB rankings upside-down on draft day.

Is Bill Parcells starting to show his age, or what? In my opinion, he’s starting to take the form of a grumpy grandfather who bosses around the grandmother all day instead of the intimidating head coach. Of course, coaching a lousy team with a “hands-on” owner will do that to a guy. Do you think if Parcells goes 1-15 with the Boys that he Star-Kist his way out of Dallas? Sorry about that, I couldn’t resist one awful Tuna reference.

Did I miss a memo, but where did Sterling Sharpe disappear to? Was the ESPN studio not big enough to contain both his and Michael Irvin’s ego at the same time? The Packers wide receivers are hurt and Sterling is no where to be found. Hmmm….

I know this doesn’t relate to a certain game, but whoever the ad wizard is for Southwest Airlines deserves a big fat raise. I laugh out loud every time that cashier yells, “I’m open” and he gets hit in the chest with the pineapple.

Why haven’t we seen Will Smith jumping on the Eagles bandwagon? I give it three weeks before the cameras start finding Big Willie on the sidelines kissing up to McNabb and Co. Remember, back in Philly, Will would be out in park. A place called the Plateau is where everybody go…

Is it me, or does anyone else REALLY miss Melissa Stark? I mean Lisa Guerrero is no slouch, but Mel had that rare combination of looks and football knowledge. Lisa looks as uncomfortable as her squeeze Scott Erickson looked at Camden Yards (insert baseball/sexual advance joke here).

Speaking of the MNF gang, I’ve come to like Frank Caliendo doing John Madden better than John Madden doing John Madden. Will someone please stop dilly-dallying and move Chris Berman into the booth?

Until next week…

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