Thursday - Jan 24, 2019

Home / Uncategorized / The Prognosticator – Week 16

The Prognosticator – Week 16

Week 16


Welcome my fantasy brethren to another edition of The Prognosticator.  May it light your world ablaze with a thousand roman candles.  Speaking of light, we’re going to start thinning out The Progno headed into these final two weeks so I can focus on some other articles and the site in general.  We have a lot of things to do to get ready for the playoffs (be sure to check back and get in on our playoff contests) and that won’t happen on its own.  

Naturally, the annual progno playoff edition will be hitting the streets in a couple of weeks and as you are well aware, the playoff edition has been stunningly accurate over the years.  It has picked some incredible upsets and to date has always had at least one of the teams in the Superbowl with the other team picked to make the Superbowl, losing in the Championship game.  Keep in mind that the playoff progno picks all the games for the entire playoffs before they start!  In fact, here’s an excerpt from an interview I did recently that network execs didn’t feel cut the mustard for mainstream viewing.

Barbara Walters: Now wait a minute Tony.  There’s no way you could have picked the Falcons to make the Superbowl a few years back, no one picked them to get out of the wildcard game.  

Progno: Actually .. I did.  And took a load of heat for it.

Barbara Walters: How about the Patriots and their Cinderella run through the playoffs recently?  No way you would have picked them.

Progno: You’re right.  I had it Rams vs. Oakland with the Patriots going deep and losing to Oakland.  We were a forward pass away! 

Barbara Walters: You mean you didn’t pick the Titans to get upset in the first round a few years ago when they were everyone’s AFC darling?

Progno: Actually .. I did.

Barbara Walters: I can’t wait for the playoff progno!  You da man Tony!  No really, you rock!  

Progno: Actually .. I do.  And Babs babe, apart from that odd outburst, let me just say, your general football acumen is astonishing.  

 

Roadmap to Victory

Team

Rush

Pass

Opponent

ARI

105

201

SEA

ATL

117

139

TB

BAL

135

182

CLE

BUF

107

175

MIA

CAR

109

234

DET

CHI

127

172

WAS

CIN

161

205

STL

CLE

105

202

BAL

DAL

120

218

NYG

DEN

155

180

IND

DET

110

186

CAR

GB

138

213

OAK

HOU

85

149

TEN

IND

110

238

DEN

JAX

145

190

NO

KC

116

239

MIN

MIA

100

184

BUF

MIN

171

240

KC

NE

110

215

NYJ

NO

121

187

JAX

NYG

99

171

DAL

NYJ

96

181

NE

OAK

114

175

GB

PHI

135

267

SF

PIT

124

217

SD

SD

121

197

PIT

SEA

130

269

ARI

SF

152

214

PHI

STL

124

247

CIN

TB

135

191

ATL

TEN

125

220

HOU

WAS

123

165

CHI

Red – Hot!  Play ’em if you got ’em.

Yellow – Warm.  A decent option.

White – Room Temp.  Not good, not bad, use if you have to.

Light Blue – Cold.  Better off looking elsewhere.

Dark Blue – Frigid!  Run away!!  


All times are Eastern

Wagers
Initial Bankroll: $500 Geoffrey Dollars.
Current Bankroll: $255 Geoffrey’s.
Last Week: Lost $55 on the Redskins.

Nice season we’re having in the wagering section!  With a little over half our Giraffe’s left, we sit and watch the games this week wondering who’s Mercedes we helped finance this season.  No games jump out of the database this week as worthy of a wager so we sit tight and wait for the next guaranteed loser.

This Week: No bet.


Atlanta Falcons at Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Saturday 1:30pm

Thomas Jones the story here as he lays down a load of hurt on the poor Falcons run go D.  The Falcons keep it somewhat close with their running, both RB and QB rushing performances that is.

Prediction: Bucs 21 – Falcons 17  (Bucs -7)


Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings – Saturday 5:00pm

Granted, this is going to be a tough one for the Chiefs mainly because of their poor defense.  The Vikings are going to have their way with the Chiefs but conversely, the Chiefs will repay the favor by ridiculing the Vikings defense in turn.  Big days on tap from just about everyone on this field.  Daunte Culpepper, Randy Moss, Michael Bennett, Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez and Priest Holmes are all looking great this week.

  
Prediction: Chiefs 29 – Vikings 21  (Chiefs -3)


New England Patriots at NY Jets – Saturday 8:30pm

The Patriots are the team that just win.  The Patriots would really enjoy life if TE Danial Graham could hold onto the ball.  Regardless, look for him to be very involved again this week.  

The Jets are in for a long day against the Patriots staunch defense.  Bad statistical day on tap for the Jets though historically, Curtis Martin has killed the Patriots.

Prediction: Patriots 24 – Jets 20  (Patriots -3)


Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears – Sunday 1:00pm

Tim Hasselbeck looked no where near as good as Elizabeth last week.  Remind me again?  How does a bald headed, lifetime backup QB stooge, catch a fish like that?  The after Christmas dinner family football game out at the Hasselbeck ranch must be a hoot.  At halftime, Ma and Pa Hass give family and friends a tour of Matt’s shrine as they leaf through the scrapbook they’ve been building with all the Seattle Times news clippings.  Elizabeth is such a doll, her “Design on a Dime” show is such a big hit, we watch it all the time.  Oh, and Tim threw more interceptions than TD’s last season.  Well, at least he got off the bench.

Nothing of note in this game.  Especially after we discovered WR Laveranues Coles has had a stress fracture in his foot since September.  Now’s a fine time to tell me Lav.  I’ve been starting your stress fractured foot all season.

Prediction: Bears 24 – Redskins 20  (Bears -4.5)


Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns – Sunday 1:00pm

Jamal Lewis is the only play here, though in his defense, Todd Heap has had some decent days for those in a TE required league.

How many times can the Browns go back to square one?  Apparently as many times as they want as people still pay.  

Prediction: Ravens 28 – Browns 23  (Ravens -3)


New Orleans Saints at Jacksonville Jaguars – Sunday 1:00pm

I always knew Joe Horn wanted to be just like Terrell Owens but a cell phone?  Sharpie wanna be syndrome I guess.

Look for some fine running from Fred Taylor in this one but the Saints have a little momentum still after last weeks game against the New York High School Giants.

Prediction: Saints 21 – Jaguars 20  (Jaguars -1)


Detroit Lions at Carolina Panthers – Sunday 1:00pm

Go ahead, start your Lions, I triple dare you.  The Panthers are going to have a very nice day in the air.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Prediction: Panthers 24 – Lions 17  (Panthers -10)


Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans – Sunday 1:00pm

If backup QB #3 plays against backup QB #3 will anyone watch this game?  I hope not.  We’ll give the Titans some props if McNair plays, else this will be slop with a side of beans.

Prediction: Titans 27 – Texans 20  (No Line)


NY Giants at Dallas Cowboys – Sunday 1:00pm

*** Low Score of the Week Award ***

Let me set the record straight.  The Cardinals could double up the Giants by 14 points right now.  The Giants secondary is comprised of CB’s that were #4 and #5 on their depth chart to start the season.  Their backup QB Jesse Palmer is, how do you say this, not talented.  Their star TE Jeremy Shockey and valuable #2 WR Ike Hilliard are out.  No way, no how do the Giants win.  The Cowboys can go to 3-wide whenever they feel like it and run the table.  

The prediction is 24 but it could just as easily be 42 and I’ll call it a transposition error.    

Prediction: Cowboys 24 – Giants 10  (Cowboys -10.5)


Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills – Sunday 1:00pm

I’ll admit that this was the hardest game for me to predict.  The database gave both teams a final comparison number of 21.4 to 21.4 and the line is even to boot.  Digging into the numbers the turnover weight that I use is a 5 for both teams.  It’s a weight, not total number of turnovers.  Across the board these two teams are duplicates of each other in every category.  I’ve never seen it line up like this before.  The only discerning factor is the prediction that the Dolphins will gain 2 more yards on the day than the Bills.  I mean, really.  

Therefore, the game will be 21-21 after four quarters of play and somehow those 2 yards are going to come into play where the Dolphins get the OT FG out of Olindo Mare for the win.

Prediction: Dolphins 24 – Bills 21  (Even)


Cincinnati Bengals at Saint Louis Rams – Sunday 1:00pm

*** RB of the Week Award: Rudi Johnson ***

This was almost the high scoring affair of the week.  There are a lot of them as there will be a lot of passing games on fire across the league Week 16.  

The Bengals will be running a lot on the Rams because the Rams continue to prove that they are having a hard time preventing the run.  The Rams will of course be throwing the ball to Torry Holt till the sheep come home.

Prediction: Rams 34 – Bengals 27  (Rams -6.5)


San Diego Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers – Sunday 4:05pm

A nicer weather day for Tommy Maddox is predicted and he and Hines Ward will click this Sunday.  The Chargers will do what the Chargers do and throw a balanced attack on the table.  Nothing really outstanding however.  Nice game last week Drew Brees.  Nice game indeed.

Prediction: Steelers 24 – Chargers 21  (Steelers -6)


San Francisco 49’ers at Philadelphia Eagles – Sunday 4:15pm

*** QB of the Week Award: Donovan McNabb ***

*** High Score of the Week Award ***

The defenses will be run ragged in this as the 49’ers and Eagles put up the points in a big way.  The 49’ers liked what they got out of Kevan Barlow last week (as predicted) and they’ll continue that line of questioning.  

The Eagles will get a big day out of one of their WR’s.  Sorry, I can’t tell you more than that since we’re all still waiting for even an average day from one of them.  One of them however will explode in this.  Donovan McNabb will be ProBowl’esque and they’ll be able to run the ball like a cherry on top.    

Prediction: Eagles 40 – 49’ers 28  (Eagles -7.5)


Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks – Sunday 4:15pm

*** WR of the Week Award: Darrell Jackson ***

The Cards will be able to pass some on the weak Seahawks secondary.  Some.  

The Seahawks will be able to pass all over the poorest secondary in the league.  A ton!

Koren Robinson hasn’t lived up to his billing this season and Darrell Jackson has lived past his.  Jackson looks to have cured the dropsies that were plaguing him earlier in the season and that will translate to a monster game for him.

Prediction: Seahawks 33 – Cardinals 17  (Seahawks -13.5)


Denver Broncos at Indianapolis Colts – Sunday 8:30pm

This could be a make or break game for the Broncos and their playoff hopes, but does anyone really think the Broncos should be in the playoffs with Jake Plummer at the helm?  With Portis potentially down, this team will still be able to run the ball.  Don’t worry about that.

The Colts will of course put their trust in Peyton Manning as he is finally looking like the man on the mission that everyone thought he could be.  

Prediction: Colts 33 – Broncos 24  (No Line)


Green Bay Packers at Oakland Raiders – Monday 9:00pm

I grudgingly take the Packers.  Grudgingly because the Raiders beat the Ravens last week.  Where did that come from?  I have to believe that was just an anomaly and lightning can’t strike twice.  Nice running day for Ahman Green as the Raiders have been soft against the run and he’s a solid back.  

The Raiders will just try to keep the ball out of Rick Mirer’s hands and run every chance they get.

Prediction: Packers 28 – Raiders 23  (Packers -5)


About Fantasy Sharks

FantasySharks.com began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.