Tuesday - May 21, 2019

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The Sin City BetBot 6000 Presents

Initially built by NASA to set
lines for the

Las Vegas
casinos in the late ‘50s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The
government?

It was
the mob …), The

Sin

City Betbot

6000 calculated lines
for over 30 years. The Betbot

was given various upgrades through the years, not
always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and
living the good life.

The Betbot

was de-commissioned in
1990 after

San Francisco destroyed

Denver in the Super Bowl.
The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s

wires and he retired.
The Betbot

was
discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives
now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL.

The

Sin

City

Betbot

6000 Presents is
transcribed by Joe Petrizzi

and Tom Walls because “typing

BZZT…

is a dame’s job.”

 

I
said that’s life, and as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks,

Stompin’ on a dream

But I don’t let it, let it get me down,

‘Cause this fine ol’ world it keeps spinning around

-”That’s Life” as sung by
Frank Sinatra, my close personal friend

Don’t forget to follow me
on Twitter @betbot6k for more
updates and my full list of picks every week.

I’ll
keep this short.

Sinatra

was a close personal friend of mine and a good man. A good bleeping man.
Frank was my best friend; I think about him everyday. Frank defined class. I
define class also, but Frank’s picture is next to the definition in
Merriam-Webster’s. One of Frank’s best well-known songs was the song quoted
above. A song about the ups and downs of life,

and some fans need to understand that this
is going to be one of those down years. Some fans are used to it; for some
fans, rooting for a horrible team is an abysmal change. Don’t worry,

it won’t last forever … except
for you, Raiders fans. Al Davis will not die;

he’s like me in that way, except I still
know a thing or two about professional football. For example …

The
NFL trade deadline is next week, and one of my favorite things about the trade
deadline is hearing all of the listless veteran players that pundits bring up
as potential trade bait. For example, Adam Schefter suggested today that the Niners
trade one of their first-round picks (they have

Carolina’s, too) for Panthers DE

Julius
Peppers
. Because what

San Francisco
needs is a 29-year-old player with one sack against a non-Redskins team, and
two seasons away from a 2.5-sack season, Oh, and he wants a long-term deal and
threatened to holdout last offseason. Yeah, I’m unloading a first-rounder for
that guy. (Insert

Al Davis joke here.) The Niners need to hold their
water, use

Carolina’s
Top 10 pick next season on a QB and re-build in earnest. Because this year’s
version might make the playoffs since the NFC West sucks, but a

Shaun Hill-as-QB
team is going nowhere.

NFC NOTES

Another
late shot on

Donovan McNabb

last week, this time it was two Buccaneers landing
on him after he was down on the ground after the whistle … McNabb is one of
your star’s NFL, protect him like you would Tom Brady. Perhaps if McNabb
lobbied the refs after every time a defender breathed on him too heavily, he’d
get the Brady treatment. Or maybe if McNabb had a logo like Tom’s that looked
like a pair of balls.

Tampa

Bay

, your QB actually looks pretty
good.

Josh Johnson


showed a lot of moxie in the game at Philly. He’s definitely got a great
target in

Kellen


Winslow

. If the other receivers would figure out how to
hold onto the ball,

Tampa

Bay may make some noise –

a small noise, but a
noise. They may play spoiler late in the year.

Happy
birthday Brett, for your 40th birthday, the NFL gave you the Rams.

Atlanta

… wow.
The Falcons did that to the Niners

off of a bye week, but that was an impressive road
win. I bet

Mike Singletary stared some people down after that game, and
then undressed himself in front of those people.

The Jerome Boger

Rush to Judgement

Section of the Article –

This is
the part of the column where I turn off my rational heuristics and make a wild
judgment based on limited, potentially biased data … kind of like my favorite
NFL referee, Jerome Boger aka Southern Sassy. 

Chris Cooley


will have less than four TDs this season. Staying in and blocking isn’t
as fun as showing off your genitals on the Internet, is it Chris?
 

The
Texans will finish 8-8 again. They finish with a loss versus

New
England
and

Gary Kubiak

loses his job

.

Tim Tebow

will be
a very good fullback for someone in the NFL.

The
Raiders are on the clock (OK, I’m not going out too bleeping far on the limb
there).

AFC NOTES

– Quite a Monday night game between the Dolphins
and the Jets, with a surprising lay down by the previously stout Jets run
defense.

Rex Ryan laid into them in the locker room afterward,
describing his discussion as “blunt force trauma” – which I can only take to
mean that it involved Ryan taking off his shirt. Singletary tested, Singletary
approved!

Speaking
of the ‘Fins, they are rumored to be interested in trading for the Browns’
elite return man

Josh Cribbs. Clearly,

Miami
is under the assumption that

Eric Mangini is determined to eliminate all
potentially skilled players from the

Cleveland
roster. Perhaps Browns management is trying to reenact the plot from the movie
Major League.

Maurice Jones-Drew

is popping off about the Jaguars
supposedly giving up on the running game. OK, losing by 40 points or so will
kind of cause that problem.  Furthermore, you picking up a measly 48 yards
on 18 carries might sour the coaching staff on the run game, Maurice. So take
the beam out of your own bleeping eye and start producing. I know your fantasy
owners are expecting a lot more.

Another
fun trade rumor:

T.O. to the Bears (and others.) Because what

Chicago really needs is a
35-year-old malcontent WR who’s posted 12-202-1 through five games. Every team
needs one of those.

Kansas City

has
replaced their WR coach

Dedric Ward, and replaced him with former Jets
RB

Richie Anderson. Yes, that’s the problem, the WR coach. 
Not the panties-in-a-twist head coach and the over-matched QB that can’t get
the ball down field. Other problems with WR play not involving coach Ward – the
non D-Bowe options are so dreadful that

Mark Bradley is still rostered. Seriously,
Todd Haley, do you not have other parts of your team to work on first?

Apparently

Jevon Kearse left the stadium after being de-activated prior to last
week’s thrashing at the hands of the Colts, which has some people up in arms
because Kearse refused to apologize for leaving early. What he really needs to
do is apologize for stealing a paycheck from the Titans every week.

Jeff
Fisher
said that Kearse needs to be more healthy to play, which raises the
question – exactly who did Fisher think he was signing last year? Kearse
has been hurt and ineffective since the second year of his Eagles contract.

BetBot Picks of the Week That Nobody Else Likes

So I get e-mail all the time
telling me how terrible my picks are.  Last week I went 3-0 to put me at
8-4 on the year.

Denver (+4) over

SAN DIEGO
– An odd line, since it’s clear to me that

Denver is the better team. The Chargers give
up more runs than a cholera victim.

TAMPA

BAY
(+3.5) over

Carolina
– You know how I said Josh Johnson would make some noise? At home against an
equally awful Panthers team would be a great spot.

Cleveland (+14) over

PITTSBURGH
– The Steelers don’t have the defense to support these double-digit lines. I keep
saying this, and I keep cleaning up.

So long for now, and remember “Showgirls
and gin my friends, showgirls and … BZZT …gin.”

About Fantasy Sharks

FantasySharks.com began in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is, or has been, home to some of the most talented and best known fantasy writers on the planet. Owned and operated by Tony Holm (5 time Fantasy Sports Writer Association Hall-of-Fame nominee,) Tony started writing fantasy content in 1993 for the only three fantasy football web sites in existence at the time.