Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob…), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to help your team with deeper sleepers to start each week.
The Betbot’s column is transcribed each week by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls, because, “Typing is a dame’s BZZZT job.”
Need more BetBot? Try a daily dose of BetBot at http://blog.sincitybetbot.com and look for other content, including weekly NFL picks, on http://www.sincitybetbot.com.
The e-mails have been pouring in recently. Most of the notes are from fans of my picks over on sincitybetbot.com , I have been turning my season around after one particular horrendous week. To those of you who have made money based on my picks, you’re welcome. But I know how fickle the wagering public can be, if you are upset with me please come up with a better insult than ‘blow-hard tin can’ – I get that one a lot.
Another popular topic has been my recent imbroglios with certain starlets. Is it a coincidence that Britney Spears and I have been snapped recently outside a Vegas hot spot right after she filed for divorce? Is it a coincidence…BZT… that her baby is best described as cyborg-like? Is it a coincidence that Kevin Federline’s latest attempt at rap features this pearl from the ‘song’ Hunh?:
You gonna leave a flesh and blood man?
Gonna leave me for some blow-hard tin can?
No, these are not coincidences. I did admit to being the true father of Britney’s baby, and I do admit to comforting her in this time of need. And I don’t apologize. Since I have come back in Britney’s life, she’s happier and actually got herself back into shape, almost, she needs to drop about …BZT… another 10 pounds, but we’re working on it.
You may say to me, “Betbot, you’re a scumbag, she was a married woman.” Baby, if I cared about society’s mores, I wouldn’t …BZZZT… be where I am today.
And with that…
QB – David Garrard – JAC – Whoa, whoa, whoa, you say? Garrard ain’t no deeper sleeper – he’s barely a sleeper at all! This may be true, but he’s probably still be available in your league, and the fact remains that he’s going to be the starter down the stretch for the Jaguars. Byron Leftwich is hurting and Jack Del Rio has all but buried him alive in concrete, so Garrard is the man. The thing to remember with Garrard is that he runs – and we all know that a QB who runs is a fantasy gold mine. I’ll tell you what else I like – second half schedule opposition that includes some real gems in Houston, Buffalo, Indianapolis, and Tennessee. A lot of bad defenses are just waiting to be exploited, so go ahead and take the plunge.
QB – Tony Romo – DAL – I’m going to give you a bonus QB this week just because I’m like that. The bye weeks are over and this column will be changing format shortly to prep you for your playoff run, so I’m trying to squeeze in a couple extra waiver wire recommendations this week. Romo isn’t a great QB, but he’s playing well and he has two great receivers in Terry Glenn and Terrell Owens, plus a nice TE in Jason Witten. No matter what you think of Tony, matching up that receiving crew with Arizona, Indianapolis, and Tampa Bay should mean some …BZZT… nice fantasy production over the next three weeks, especially since Dallas is fighting for a playoff berth. Can you use him in your fantasy championships against Atlanta or Philadelphia? I doubt it. I mean, you could. I once main lined grain alcohol just to win a bet. It was a nutty idea, but when you’re standing between John Belushi and a talky showgirl, words get exchanged. No matter to me, I’m metal – Belushi…not so much.
Annnyyway… I like Romo but wouldn’t recommend starting him in weeks 15 and 16. Still, if you have a Carson Palmer problem on your hands, Romo may be just the guy you need to weather the storm until a better option emerges.
RB – Anthony Thomas – BUF – Everyone and their brother is calling for a ride on the A-Train, but I wanted to leave you with a word of warning. First, he has a great schedule the next two weeks with the Colts and the Texans. That should be good enough to throw some stats in your book for the effort. However, after that he gets Jacksonville and San Diego, and they both love stopping the run. Furthermore, his late season schedule includes run-stuffing Miami and Baltimore, although you may be able to use him in week 16 against the Titans if Willis McGahee packs it in for the year, which is likely. So make a play for Thomas, but don’t get all nuts like he’s going to pull a Nick Goings down the stretch.
RB – Mewelde Moore – MIN – Did you ever wonder what happens to a running back when they triple their career high in rushing attempts? I’m thinking Chester Taylor is going to be getting tired of these 25-30 carry games soon, and a break down looks imminent. I normally wouldn’t recommend a Vikings offensive to anyone I wasn’t trying to insult, but a fantasy playoff schedule featuring the Lions, Jets, Packers, and Rams looks downright tasty. The way I see it, you have nothing to lose by taking Moore and playing the odds – no way Taylor maintains this workload. On the other hand, Ciatrick Fason looms in the shadows – so monitor the situation.
To read the WR and TE write ups, you may want to check out my Sin City Betbot 6000 Receiver Confidence Index, as I’ll be referring to it going forward. I’ll often refer to a receiver’s CI score as a triplet of numbers – his raw CI number, his receptions weighted by CI, and his yards weighted by CI. For example, Marvin Harrison’s CI score is 1.37/71.0/953.
WR – Santonio Holmes – PIT – If you’re a Steelers fan, you may be sneering at this. If your league awards points for kick/punt returners, you’re definitely sneering at this. Last week, Holmes lost his job as the Steelers return man. He had two fumbles and lost one. This continues a rookie season of miscues on his part in the return game.
Holmes is having a nice rookie year as a WR however. He’s no Marques Colston, but he’s faring nicely for himself. His CI line is 1.34/29.4/432 – his un-weighted Confidence Index score of 1.34 ranks him #18 for all players, his CI*Yards score of 431.65 puts him at #37 overall in that category. Holmes catches 66% of the balls thrown to him, and a little over 50% of his targets result in first downs or touchdowns.
With all the bad news surrounding Holmes and his return problems, Santonio may be available. Pick him up, and hold onto him for any tough match-ups the Steelers have. The defending champs are…BZZT… floundering, and have quickly found themselves in holes against good teams. If they start chucking the ball around when behind, Holmes and his big play ability will be a frequent target of Mr. Rothlyzplyk.
TE – Ben Utecht – IND – Take this one with a grain of salt. I could just as easily put Bryan Fletcher’s name here. They are TE 2a and 2b for the Colts. Utecht, however, has more catches and had a nice game last week, so he goes up here.
Of course, Dallas Clark is the starter, but Utecht and Fletcher have both had some nice games this year. Peyton Manning is finding other targets to make up for the lack of a true all purpose RB. Utecht’s CI line is 1.26/20.1/221 his Confidence Index score of 1.26 is #8 for TEs. Utecht is not a big play guy, but he catches the ball when it’s thrown to him. He even caught a ball last week that I think may have been an attempt by Manning to throw the ball away.
Deeper sleeper TEs are an ugly gamble, but if you’re stuck with a piece of garbage as your #2 TE, keep Utecht around and start him if your #1 gets hurt.
So long for now, and remember “Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and …BZT…gin.”
If you have any questions for the Betbot, please contact Tom Walls at firstname.lastname@example.org – also, check out