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Top 10 Coolest Football Names

Top
10 Coolest Football Names

 

1.  Atari

Bigby

 

For
children of the 80’s, this name brings back a lot of good memories, but raises some
questions too:

  Are we far off from seeing
a Playstation Bigby?

 And, is it me, or
does Xboxthreesixty Bigby just not work as well?

 

2.  Guy
Whimper

 

Good
for Guy.

  He probably spent his early
years being teased for his sissy name.

 
So what does he do about it?

  He becomes
a 300+ pound Tackle for the New York Giants.

 

No one laughs anymore but Guy.

 

3.  Booger
McFarland

 

Is
he the lovechild of Duddley “Booger” Dawson from

Revenge of The Nerds and Todd
McFarline, the creator of

Spawn?

  It’s
too awesome to imagine, but I can dream anyway…

 

4.  Cadillac
Williams

 

It
wasn’t long ago when Cadillac was considered a priceless treasure of the Tampa
Bay Bucaneers.

  Too bad these days, this Cadillac
is run down, out of gas, and needs a serious upgrade.

 

5.  Ryan Plackemeier

 

This
one may seem forced, but… did you know what happens when you remove the “me”
from this dude’s last name and replace it with “ck?”

Check it out.

 
It’s an anagram for “Placekicker.”

  Want to guess what this guy does for a living?

  That’s right, he is a Punter.

  Sorry Reggie Corner, Corner Back of the Buffalo
Bills, Ryan has you beat!

 

6.  Scorpio
Babers

 

You
don’t get more badass than Scorpio.

 It makes
me think of Hank Scorpio, the

evildoer with the “doomsday device” who blows up the
59th Street Bridge in Season 8 of the

Simpsons.

  If you have no idea what I am talking about,
I feel sorry for you.

 

 

7.  Osi
Umenyiora

 

The
first time I heard his name, I swear I thought the announcer called him “Human
Urine.”

   For that reason alone, he is
included.

 

8.  TJ
Houshmandzadeh

 

Did
you know Houshmandzadeh is a compound name meaning the “son of wisdom?”

  I read that on Wikipedia, so it’s gotta to be
true.

  “You mean Houshmandzadeh  from the
Bengals?”

  “Put him on the board.’

  ‘Houshamazooee.’

 ‘ Lock him up.

 
Chaaaaaampionship.”

 

9.  (Tie)
Madison Hedgecock and Danny Woodhead

 

The
only way to trump this is if a Penischlong joins the NFL.

 

10.  Pacman
Jones

 

Like
his yellow counterpart, this Pacman has an appetite too, but Mr. Jones’s
cravings include fist fights and shootings at Las Vegas strip clubs.

  Keep it up, Pacman and it will be “Game Over”
for you.

  Wakka. Wakka.

 

Honorable
Mentions:

 Mathias Kiwanuka, Rocky McIntosh, Chad Mustard, Michael Meyers, and Justin Smiley

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