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Wally’s World – Week 5

If you can’t laugh at this crazy thing called fantasy football then you will undoubtedly pull your hair out.

A week after star wide receivers A.J. Green, Julio Jones, Randall Cobb and Steve Smith put up stellar numbers not one of them posted top-25 WR numbers.

Want some more wackiness?

Last week 3 of the top 5 quarterbacks in scoring were Aaron Rodgers, Cam Newton and Tom Brady.

Heading into Monday Night Football 3 of the top 5 scoring quarterbacks are Sam Bradford, Josh McCown and Kirk Cousins.

I can’t make this stuff up. Honestly, I can’t.

Let’s get to some things that tickled ‘Old Uncle Waldo’s’ fancy this week.

Man, oh man, Chris Ivory runs hard. [Editor’s Note: Oh, Uncle Waldo doesn’t like Thursday night games. But games in London he’s OK with?]

Wait, he just gouged a pathetic Miami defense for 10 more yards.

I was surprised Joe Philbin kept his job through half-time across the pond.

I get the feeling he won’t last much longer as the Dolphins look disinterested.

Was that Ryan Fitzpatrick or Steve Young running that ball at QB for the Jets?

The “Amish Rifle” was running like a deer Sunday. Sure it’s like an older and slower deer but still a deer.

It looks like we have a breakout DE in Stephon Tuitt of the Steelers. The position needs some fresh faces and the rookie has looked awesome the last two weeks. [Editor’s Note: Huge props to Uncle Waldo’s IDP partner in crime, Gary Davenport, for recommending Tuitt in Week 4’s IDP Waiver Wire. Big slap on the wrist to this editor who failed to act quickly enough to secure Tuitt off the waiver wire.]

Well, hello Justin Forsett. We were wondering if you planned on joining us this season for fantasy purposes.

Michael Vick looked “meh” on Thursday night and he still outplayed Joe Flacco. [Editor’s Note: Got to give credit to Vick for being the only guy that could stop WR Antonio Brown‘s 35-game streak of at least 5 receptions and 50 yards receiving.]

Way to lay a huge egg, Mr. Flacco.

Alshon Jeffery missed another game.

Knock me over with a feather.

The Devonta Freeman show just continues to roll. The kid is flat out tearing it up and is exciting to watch. [Editor’s Note: It may be exciting if you didn’t just trade for Tevin Coleman earlier this season in a dynasty league.]

On the flip side, is the train wreck that is the 2015 Houston Texans.

What’s the old saying, “When you have two starting quarterbacks you have zero starting quarterbacks?” [Editor’s Note: I think the saying is…When you have Brian Hoyer and Ryan Mallett at QB, you have no QB.]

The Texans do not have a NFL quarterback.

Brian Hoyer to C.J. Fiedorowicz. Really? Rushing touchdown for Chris Polk. Seriously?

Houston can’t even get ‘garbage time’ right.

Well, they got it a little right DeAndre Hopkins.

Philbin may want to share a taxi out of town with Bill O’Brien. [Editor’s Note: Another ex-Patriots assistant coach who appears to have failed as a head coach.]

Leonard Hankerson certainly did a very nice Julio Jones impersonation today.

Ed Dickson owners love that fumble return for a touchdown (assist to Jonathan Stewart). [Editor’s Note: I don’t even think Ed Dickson’s parents own him in their fantasy league.]

Never mind. There are no Ed Dickson owners. [Editor’s Note: I should have read just one line further.]

Attention! Attention!! Always put the starting tight end against the Oakland Raiders defense in your lineup. Always.

You are welcome.

Oh, and also go ahead and try to stream whatever team defense is lining up opposite Jameis Winston and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers offense. [Editor’s Note: Is Jameis Winston going to play Ryan Leaf to Marcus Mariota‘s Peyton Manning?]

The kid is handing out turnovers like candy on Halloween. [Editor’s Note: Or….like crab legs at a convenient store?]

Winston will also keep things interesting when trying to pick a wide receiver to play for Tampa Bay. Last week he targeted Mike Evans 17 times and this week it was Vincent Jackson that saw 15 targets.

It appears as if Jeremy Hill is officially out of the doghouse in Cincinnati.

Which still doesn’t mean that Giovani Bernard doesn’t have value as the Bengals have quite the “Thunder and Lightning” backfield going on.

I am guessing that Latavius Murray could use a big old hug right about now. [Editor’s Note: Obviously, Uncle Waldo doesn’t own Latavius Murray. Because a hug isn’t exactly what I want to give him.]

Any of his fantasy owners willing to step up and help out? Yeah, me neither.

I really thought Shane Vereen would flourish in the New York Giants offense and especially so in PPR formats.

I was wrong. Dead wrong.

When Rashad Jennings takes a short pass for a 51-yard score it does not bode well for Vereen heading forward in any scoring format.

About Wally Spurlin

Wally Spurlin is a Fantasy Football Staff Writer at Fantasy Sharks and a member of the Fantasy Sports Writer Association (FSWA). Spurlin’s work has appeared in print publications, including the FSWA award winning 2014 USA Today Fantasy Football magazine as well as the 2015 edition. Wally is also a weekly co-host on the Fantasy Football Feeding Frenzy pod cast on Fantasy Sharks Radio at Blog Talk Radio.Follow him on Twitter @WaltonSpurlin